


Sand

by UnderCoverMarsupial



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Baby Luke, Coping, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Grief/Mourning, Knotting, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Sex In A Cave, Slow Burn, There's A Tag For That, virgin!Maul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2019-09-26 08:52:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17138753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderCoverMarsupial/pseuds/UnderCoverMarsupial
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi arrives on Tatooine and begins his life of exile, deep in grief and exhaustion. When Maul finds him, neither have the energy or capacity to carry on their war.A variation from Twin Suns.(I started this fic almost a year ago? But got caught in other things. I have enough of it that I have decided to start posting chapters. There have been lots of excellent Maul and Obi-Wan on Tatooine fics but there can never be ENOUGH so here is my take.)





	1. Chapter 1

 

Obi-Wan Kenobi’s new dwelling was small- a modest brown dome, the plaster covering the stones cracked and peeling. The house’s finest feature was the tower of rock looming above that shaded it during the worst of the afternoon heat. The spire was merely the first of many, growing thicker and taller as they blended into the mountains creating mazes of canyons and passages and dead ends. It was not an area to be traveled lightly. The canyon walls were pockmarked with cave dwellings. The Stone People lived there- away from their nomadic cousins on the Sands. Obi-Wan admired their dwellings, the terraces of caves with neat passages up and down. They grew bitter melons and maize in the few damp spots, keeping their bantha in the cool recesses at the base of the cliff-sides.

Just below Obi-Wan’s dwelling those white sands began- vanishing into the blurry horizon. At night it was possible to see the faint lights of Anchorhead or the occasional Tusken nomad camp. But in the brutal light of the twin suns nothing could be made out in the glare.

The heat was white, white sky, white sand, the horizon wavering and jumping in and out of focus made it impossible to see at a distance. But as soon as the suns began to set the world turned red and brown, like the stones of the arroyos behind Obi-Wan’s little dome. Purple shadows cut across the ground like knives, moving in precise patterns that suggested letters to Obi-Wan’s ravaged mind. But he could make no sense of them.

Obi-Wan chose this place because it was close enough to watch Luke but not so close that Owen Lars would take pot shots at him with the rifle he kept over the door. _You stay away from us. Stay away from the boy. We will care for him. But you stay away!_ The property came with its own condensers, the vaporators built  just by the spire where the winds were best, but little else.

The last owner had left in a hurry - was eager to sell once Obi-Wan leaned on him a little. Did the off-worlder mind its proximity to the wastes? Between the sand people and the stone? No. He didn't mind. He would take it now. Condensers, sparse furniture and all. Unmarked credits would be fine.

Obi-Wan gave the place a cursory once over as he swept out the accumulated sand. There were two levels- the upper had two small rooms with windows. The lower level faced a circular courtyard, open to the sky but well below ground, keeping all the lower rooms cool. In better days there had been a fountain and a garden. The fountain’s base was parched and crumbled. And there was nothing but dessicated stalks and lizards in the garden now. The lower rooms were cool, but felt claustrophobic. So the Jedi climbed back up the circling stairs and chose one of the upper rooms as his own.

Once he had cleared out the sand and brought in his meager supplies he locked the door behind him and collapsed on the narrow bed. He was exhausted and heartbroken. His last days before exile had been relentless. _Five days ago I was laughing with Anakin, preparing to leave for Atapau. That flight was the last time I slept. I think?_ When all the action stopped his body simply carried on until it just… couldn’t. He drank a cup of water with shaking hands and rolled himself in his cloak onto the dusty mattress. For a moment he simply lay there, staring at the wall. The wind breathed in and out around the stones. It was the only sound. Obi-Wan was trying to remember the last time he had been in a quiet place but fell asleep before he could recall.

On and off for five days he slept, waking barely enough to tend to basic needs before stumbling back into his bed. It was grief that shut his eyes- even more than exhaustion. Obi-Wan was no stranger to grief. All the Jedi who fought in the war were accustomed to grief. But this was so shattering, so total, that his mind simply stopped. Body and mind together refused to carry on. So he slept. And wept, and slept more. _Anakin, Padme, the padawans, the babies in the creche. All my friends, my brothers and sisters. The clones. Cody…_

 

On the sixth day Obi-Wan forced himself up. The two vaporators had been chugging along while he slept and the precious water was nearly overflowing the tanks. Obi-Wan switched them out, pumping the water into the cistern with an old hand pump. The repetitive motion gave him time to clear the sleep from his head. As the handle shifted up and down with little cricket chirps, Obi-Wan turned his weary brain to his current fix. How to fill his time? He needed to strip his ship down to parts- remove any identifying information. He didn’t even know how to _begin_ doing that. He needed to go to Anchorhead for supplies. He needed tools-

“Kenobi.” The voice startled Obi-Wan badly enough that he pinched the base of his thumb in the pump. He turned slowly, his heart thudding. There was never any doubt who it was. Of course. Of course Maul would find him, even here.

“Darth Maul,” Obi-Wan said. He was acutely aware of his saber- resting on its stand inside, and his personal state- in his undershirt covered in a week’s worth of grime.

“You know I am not a Sith anymore,” Maul said. He was standing in the shade of one of the vaporators. His face was barely visible but there was no mistaking him. _My mirror. Always._ Obi-Wan thought, sucking on the cut on his hand.

“So you aren’t a Sith,” Obi Wan spat.  “That hasn’t seemed to improve you any.”

There was a flash of teeth in the dark of Maul’s hood. He was wearing a grey robe, torn down one side and worn at the hem. He took a step forward into the sun and Obi-Wan braced himself, digging deep to find whatever energy he could to fight, again.

Instead, Maul collapsed. He made no sound, simply toppled over with a thud- his presence in the Force winking out. A little cloud of white dust had puffed up, and now the particles trickled back down into the folds of Maul’s cloak. Obi-Wan nearly jumped out of his skin. He stood frozen staring at the unconscious Zabrak in consternation. Slowly he leaned down and touched Maul’s face, moving the hood to the side. Maul’s face was ashen under his tattoos, and his eyes were sunken in their sockets. His skin was burning with fever. A quick check showed a few wounds in various stages of healing, but nothing serious. The former Sith had simply stopped. Exactly as Obi-Wan had the week before. The Jedi sighed deeply. Well, here was _something_ to fill his time anyway.

Maul woke up slowly, his aching head struggling to determine where he was. He lay on a couch in a cool adobe room with peeling paint. Blinding light outside the window, sky so pale it was almost white, reminded him. Tatooine. Kenobi!

With a snarl he shoved himself up, ignoring the agony in his limbs. Where- Oh. Kenobi was sprawled in a chair, head thrown back and snoring softly. On the table between them was a cup with water and a bowl of congealed… something, presumably food. Feeling his hearts slow Maul shifted himself into a sitting position. The blanket he was under slid to his waist and Maul realized he had been stripped and washed and his wounds tended. The durasteel bands where his cybernetic legs attached to his mid thighs had even been polished- the joints oiled. He let out a horrified whine. What had happened? He had found Kenobi, determined to exact revenge and... then what?

The Jedi had been stooped over a pump, his clothes disheveled and face red from tears. He looked old, pathetic. And Maul had hesitated. This wasn’t the Kenobi he wanted to strike down. Not this broken man in a dirty shirt with hair beginning to go white at the temples. So Maul had called out to him instead. And Kenobi had started and glared at him, knowing his voice, _knowing him._ That was the last thing Maul remembered.

Kenobi stirred in his chair, straightening with a groan. His hair was sticking up in every direction and there were dark rings under his eyes. When he saw Maul looking at him he froze then slowly raised his chin, his hand coming to rest on the saber at his belt. Maul’s eyes scoured the room in panic. His saber!

“It’s there,” Kenobi said. His voice was scratchy. Maul looked where the Jedi was pointing and saw his saber on a stand in a little alcove. It had been polished also. Maul felt dizzy, the unreality of the situation too difficult for his mind to catch up.

“What happened?” he asked, watching Kenobi warily. His body was poised for flight or ready to throw himself at Kenobi. He doubted he would make it in time.

“I thought you were going to try and kill me again. Instead you fell over,” the Jedi said. He raised his hand off his saber, and there was a flash of disgust in the Force.

“When?” Maul asked. The servos in his knees whirred as he shifted, leaning back.

“Two days ago.” Kenobi said. His Force presence was tired, and quiet. There was none of the usual fire Maul expected.

“Two days?” Maul considered this. But it didn’t make sense no matter how he tried. Their conversation was only the outward manifestation of what was really being communicated through the Force. Maul caught himself… reaching… for his enemy, looking for that blue flame he was used to.

“You didn’t kill me,” he said. Kenobi shrugged. He seemed to struggle for thought then suddenly laid his own saber on the table between them before leaning back.

“I am too tired. You and I have tried to kill each other on and off for twenty years. It’s enough.”

Maul thought about this. It fit into what he had been thinking in the shade of the vaporator. He felt Kenobi reading him and closed his eyes, letting it happen. They were thinking much the same thoughts.

“We are the only ones left,” Maul said. He hated how his voice cracked. Obi-Wan looked at him sharply but then sagged.

“Yes,” he sighed. “We are.”

They sat for a moment staring at each other. Their shared history was there in the room with them. Encounter after encounter, murder after murder… And somehow Maul couldn’t muster up the energy to care. If Kenobi’s fire was out- then so was Maul’s. He was sick of it all.

“I came here from the Siege of Mandalore,” he said quietly. Obi-Wan looked away, his face twisted in pain. Images of Satine Kryze rose up and Maul shuddered. _Not that._

“Ahsoka Tano lives,” he said. Obi-Wan turned to him and smiled- a surge of relief washed through the Force. The smile took years off his face. Maul felt curiously pleased.

“This is… good news, you have brought me,” he said. He stared off in the middle distance.

“A fair trade for-” Maul glanced down and gestured vaguely at the bacta patch on his arm.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said.

“Why have you come to this place?” Maul asked. The Jedi suddenly looked guarded, closed off. There was a sudden impression of hands on sabers, thought Kenobi had not moved.

“You are not hiding,” Maul said. “You have a purpose.”

The silence from Kenobi was deafening. The Force thrummed and pulsed around them. Maul realized he knew this man, knew him so well that he didn't really need to guess. Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi master, member of the Jedi Council, the greatest Jedi of his generation- would not simply retire into the wastes of Tatooine. The despair and pain in him was enormous. There was no denying the suffering etched in every line of Kenobi’s face. But that didn't matter. He would never leave Vader unanswered- unless…

“You are protecting something,” Maul said. “No…  some _one_.” He didn't realize he had spoken aloud until he saw the stricken look on Kenobi’s face. For a moment the old thrill returned, throwing Kenobi off balance, antagonizing him, feeling his pain- but then it was gone. Maul slumped back against the couch.

“I do not care,” he said. “I am not here for them- whoever they are.”

“Then why are you here?” Kenobi said, his teeth clenched. Maul looked at him without speaking. He rubbed his palms together,  trying to gather his thoughts.

“I thought I came to kill you,” he said. “But you are not the man I came to kill. And I… I am tired. Dathomir…” he shook his head. He couldn't even say it. _Every man woman and child on Dathomir is dead. Every last remnant of my people has been destroyed. For me. For my folly. If Savage had lived-_

The pain was so bad Maul had to physically push it away.

“I heard about Dathomir,” Kenobi said. Maul had no defense against the sympathy in that voice. “And I am sorry.” The sense of him flowed closer, touching against Maul, expressing their mutual pain. So many deaths...

Maul nodded glumly. His mind was fraying around the edges, he could feel it. There was no place for him in the galaxy, no purpose at all. He was just beginning to absorb the implications of that when Kenobi spoke again.

“I am here to watch over the son of Anakin Skywalker,” he said quietly. Maul looked up, surprised. There was no need for Kenobi to elaborate. Maul knew him too well, connected the dots almost instantly.

“The Emperor does not know,” Maul said. It wasn’t a question. “And you think his child will somehow right the wrongs of his father.”

“He must be protected. I owe Anakin that much. And someday he must be trained. So I am here.” Obi-Wan looked out the window at the desert and rubbed his forehead. “In this... uncivilized wasteland. Trying to decide how best to serve that purpose.”

The Force spoke. Or maybe it just nudged. A purpose?

“Let me stay,” Maul said. The words piled over each other. “Let me stand watch with you. If he is the chosen one- if he will defeat-” He clamped his mouth shut, veering his mind away from Sidious in superstitious dread. His hearts were pounding in his chest.   _Is it heat sickness? Why would I ask Obi-Wan Kenobi? I cannot stay here with him!_ He braced for laughter, derision. Instead Obi-Wan’s old chair creaked as he  sagged backwards.

 

“I have no reason to trust you,” he said. “And every reason to kill you where you sit.” He stood and Maul did the same, instinct driving him into a defensive crouch, fists raised. Obi-Wan cocked an eyebrow, a gesture so familiar it made Maul gasp out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He glanced down. He was stark naked. Hastily he grabbed the blanket off the couch. It was a Jedi robe and Maul flung it down again in disgust.  Kenobi smiled, a bitter little twist of his mouth but his eyes gleamed. For a moment the Force seemed to flow through them both.

“But yes, you can stay.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

It occured to Obi-Wan that being wrong here would be the last thing he did. 

_ I do not think he will kill me, I hope, _ he thought. Maul was clattering around the below-ground rooms, deciding where he would stay.  Clouds of dust billowed out the doors at regular intervals. The first time Maul checked a room, he had come staggering out again, sneezing uncontrollably. The explosion of curses brought Obi-Wan running. As did the sudden roar of the Dark Side as Maul forced all the sand out of the room at once. Which an errant breeze blew straight back down the funnel of their sunken courtyard. The sight of the Sith, covered in white dust, bellowing obscenities in a mix of Mando’a and what may have been Togrutan, made Obi-Wan laugh for the first time since….oh.  His face fell. Since he said goodbye to Anakin.

_ Nothing has changed.  _  The pain that rose up then was a physical thing. Sharp under his sternum, it made him breathe in shallow little gasps. Obi-Wan leaned against the wall until it passed. He let out a shuddering gasp and went back to his tasks.  _Nothing has changed._

But that wasn't true. Somehow, having his enemy there with him lifted some of the fog from his mind. He was still deep in grief, and after a time he realized Maul was too. They didn’t talk much, really Maul didn’t talk at all, but Obi-Wan realized he could read the former Sith easily.  _ There is no one alive who has known me as long as he has. It’s madness!  _ For the first few days they startled whenever they saw each other, and wore their sabers continuously. But a week went by, and they slowly became easier around each other- even having tea together in the morning before Maul would slip off to what he called his workshop. 

Maul’s grief seemed to mirror Obi-Wan’s. Prone to outbursts of rage over small things, both men learned to navigate their shared space without causing the other to reach for their saber. Sometimes Obi-Wan came across Maul talking to himself, arguing with whatever voices in his mind persecuted him. 

Obi-Wan swung wildly between rage and a kind of dull fog that clouded his judgement, making it hard to even put one foot in front of another. Both men slept for long, poorly timed stretches- their bodies simply unable to maintain the mental energy the grief demanded. BUt slowly, slowly their schedules began to synchronize and their days took on a more logical shape. Obi-Wan put his saber away with a sigh of relief. He could barely stand to look at it, much less feel it on his hip. Soon after Maul did the same. But while Obi-Wan simply threw his into a box alongside Anakin’s (he did this with his eyes closed unable to even look at his brother’s familiar, often lost, often rebuilt weapon). 

Maul polished his to a high gloss and placed on a stand above his work bench. 

“I made this as a part of my new life. It’s a part of me,” he said, sounding almost shy. “I want to remember.” He touched the left half. 

“I took this from an Inquisitor,” Maul said. “It was so hard to make- there were no supplies or tools on Malachor. I had to sift through old sabers for parts, make my own tools.”

“Where did you get the crystal?” Obi-Wan asked, sensing the baleful glare in the Force. 

“It was Savage’s” Maul said, and snapped his mouth shut. Obi-Wan nodded. It would explain the thread of pain the crystal emitted. 

The other half needed no explanation. Obi-Wan knew it well, knew it _intimately_. That kyber crystal, the one the apprentice Maul had wielded against him for twenty years… That crystal… Obi-Wan shuddered. He knew it as well as his own. He respected what Maul had done in displaying his saber. But he couldn't even stand the thought of his own- so left it where it was. 

\---

Together they began to tear down Obi-Wan’s ship, and concealed Maul’s Gauntlet fighter in the Arroyo behind the house. The Gauntlet was smaller, faster and most of all- completely unremarkable. But Obi-Wan’s Republic Interceptor was too conspicuous. Maul took one of the underground storage rooms and began breaking down the salvage from Obi-Wan’s ship into smaller and smaller parts. Those parts found their way into the vaporators, a small speeder he acquired somehow in Mos Eisley, and any number of useful things. Obi-Wan, who didn't know a spanner from a driver, was secretly grateful the Sith was around to fix things. 

But sometimes Obi-WAn would see Maul tinkering with something, smeared with grease and intently focused, and he would think of Anakin. At those moments Obi-Wan would go out to the spire and try to meditate, weeping and cursing in turns for his dead friend.

The day he saw a poster of Darth Vader in Anchorhead Obi-Wan went mad. There was no other explanation. The realization that Anakin was alive- that he was Palpatine’s enforcer- hunting the last of the Jedi? He drove the speeder into the desert and howled at the sky, smashing rocks with the Force and blasting the sand into glass around him. Maul found him sometime in the night, raving and barely conscious under the wheeling stars. 

“Come master Jedi, you can't stay here.” The words barely registered as Maul heaved Obi-Wan into the speeder. 

“My brother is dead! I killed him!” Obi-Wan shouted, pushing Maul away. Maul froze. 

“Then I suppose fratricide is another thing we have in common!” he said. The bitterness in his voice startled Obi-wan out of his haze for a moment.  _ He killed Savage Opress? He killed his own brother? I killed mine. I killed Anakin. I handed him to my enemy and then killed him. Force how far have I fallen?  _ He tried to clamber out again, his fists twisted in his own hair, smacking his face against the side of the speeder.

“Stop it Kenobi! Stop it! Get in the blasted speeder!” Maul shouted, still pulling on Obi-Wan’s robes. Obi-Wan shook himself and climbed awkwardly onboard, shame coiling in his belly. He thrashed angrily as Maul strapped him down, unable to even form words.

Maul dragged Obi-Wan home and locked him in the courtyard until he calmed. It took longer than it should have a for a Master Jedi. Afterwards they sat around a small fire and Maul poured out the entirety of Sidious’ plan, and Plagueis before him, everything that had come to pass. 

Maul paced back and forth as he spoke, the light of the fire making his eyes glow every time he turned. He spoke in a continuous snarl- occasionally side tracking into things that Obi-Wan didn't understand, crackles of agonized laughter bursting through his words. But the Jedi found himself calming as he listened- watching Maul’s gestures as he switched between Basic and Mando’a. 

“Anakin Skywalker  _ is _ dead, Kenobi,” Maul said at the end, rolling his cup between his palms. “You must convince yourself of that. Darth Vader is not your brother, not the little boy from Tatooine. He is the Emperor’s dog. As, as I was.” 

This last came out in a whisper, and Obi-Wan would have missed it except for the flares of rage and shame in the Force. Maul turned his back, staring off  at the stars. Obi-Wan put out the fire, kicking sand over it as he thought about what Maul had said. When it was totally dark, Maul looked back. His eyes shone in the starlight. Obi-Wan took in his slumped shoulders and clenched fists and realized his own exhaustion. His throat was raw from screaming and his body ached in every joint. 

“We were such fools,” he said. He thought his heart would break all over again.  

“Go sleep,” Maul said striding over and hauling Obi-Wan to his feet. “We’ll talk more later.” The pain in his voice made Obi-Wan pause.  _ Sidious killed Savage, but he blames himself. Now I know how that ended. Poor man.  _

“You should sleep too, my old friend,” Obi-Wan said. He shivered as the night winds picked up. Maul shook his head. In the Force he was a tumult of emotions, chaotic enough that Obi-Wan couldn't focus on him enough to get a read. It was like being next to a waterfall. 

“I do not sleep well when-” He rubbed his hands over his face. “It is why I do not speak much of my Master.”

“Your  _ former _ master cannot reach you here,” Obi-Wan croaked, wishing his voice wasn’t so hoarse. Maul laughed, an ugly bark that vanished as soon as it came.

“He can. Of course he can,” he whispered. “He doesn't need to. I am… nothing… to him now.” With that he bowed, one hand on his saber the other over his heart-  _ As if we are at some uplevel gathering on Coruscant - _ and turned and vanished into the night. Obi-Wan sighed again and went inside. The house felt lonelier without Maul in it- it always did when the Sith went wandering.

_He isn’t a Sith anymore._ Obi-Wan chided himself. He drank an extra ration of water and curled into his bed. _Am I still a Jedi?_ He watched his breath curl in the cold air for a moment before giving up on answering. A question for the morning- he needed to sleep. _I am one with the Force; the Force is with me._

 

\---

 

Maul was gone for two days, but he brought back enough meat for them to eat their fill and even salt and cure the rest. The snake, a glistening gold line as long as Maul was tall, he refused to share, rubbing it gleefully with the last of their peppers and and hanging it over the smoke of their evening fire. When Obi-Wan complained that the peppers were burning his eyes the Sith-  _ former Sith- _ grinned, his pointed canines shining in the firelight. Obi-Wan’s complaints were not serious. He was happy to have Maul back again. Even if he didn’t share his snake.

Later that week Obi-Wan told his own story, in fits and starts, piecing together what Maul had told him with the narrative he knew. He did it as they worked on breaking down Obi-Wan’s ship. It was hard, satisfying work, and that made talking about the war easier somehow. Their voices, and the banging of hammers echoed back and forth against the red stones- startling the occasional lizard. 

The knowledge that the Sith Master had tricked them all, played them like instruments the whole time, nearly broke Obi-Wan’s spirit. Since Maul had explained it all Obi-Wan had been silent and miserable. Even telling his half of the story emphasized how ridiculous every part of the war was. What had seemed like crucial, deciding events at the time were meaningless in the context of the Sith master plan.  _ All those dead men. Millions of them- sacrificed because the Jedi couldn't see past our own noses. _

Only knowing that Luke and Maul needed him kept Obi-Wan from simply falling onto his own saber. And Maul did need him. That was shocking enough. Obi-Wan understood, his intuition steady, that if anything happened to him, Maul would simply fly his Gauntlet into the nearest star without fuss. They were like the two suns that broiled their brains overhead. A binary system keeping each other in orbit. 

“You’re even red to my… whatever this color is-” Obi-Wan said aloud, staring at his sunburned skin. THey sat side by side, sharing water under the shade of the ship’s wing. Maul was chewing on his peppered snake but stopped when Obi-Wan spoke. 

“What is this about your skin?” he asked, looking over at the Jedi.

“Nothing,” Obi-WAn said. “Just lost in thought.” 

_ The Sith Master had us in the palm of his hands for years. We gave him access to Anakin, we handed him power, we fulfilled his every wish. I handed him my brother- _

“The magnitude of our stupidity,” he said suddenly, his voice choking with tears. “To think that it was planned from the very beginning. The clones, the Separatists. Cody…”  All those clones, all those good men, men he had loved, all with a bomb in their minds waiting to go off…

Maul grunted in agreement. They had become used to each others sudden emotional outbursts by now. Tolerated and supported them even-  in their own clumsy ways.

“You were close to your clones?” Maul asked hesitantly. Obi-Wan nodded. He scrubbed at his face, feeling the grit of dust and sand grinding on his skin, turning to mud as he wept.

“Very close, even loved a few of them, closer than even my fellow Jedi…”  _ Cody, the last time we spoke you handed me my saber- we laughed…  _ He felt a surge of anger and let it slide into the Force. Or tried anyway. He drew in a long hitching breath and he curled his fists in the sand, trying to get himself under control. His tears were sucked up by the thirsty ground.  _ Cody… I never told you what it meant to me.  _ Beyond their shady little cave the blinding white sand jumped and shook - mirages twisting the eyes.  

Maul reached out and rested a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. The Jedi froze. Maul had never once touched him like this. Maul seemed to avoid contact, could work his way through the crowded market of Mos Espa without anyone even brushing his sleeve. Obi-Wan had noticed and decided not to ask. Now Maul’s hand felt warm and heavy on his shoulder. The shock of it- his skin absorbed the touch much as the sand had sucked down his tears. When had Obi-WAn last been touched with any kindness?  _ Cody…  _

“Did you ever have someone?” Obi-Wan asked abruptly. Maul jerked his hand away and looked out to the desert. The silence between them grew awkward and Obi-Wan winced.

“I’m sorry, its none of my business,” he said. Maul merely shook his head, waving away whatever Obi-Wan was going to say.   
  



	3. Chapter 3

Once a cycle or so they checked on Luke, sitting on the ridge above the Lars homestead, feeling the boy in the Force. They usually did this as the suns set. The rocks behind them shielded them from view but illuminated the house and its little dome perfectly. Often Beru could be seen holding Luke, lifting him up to see. The boy was clearly loved. Sometimes it was Owen- apparently singing him snatches of songs based on the way he rocked the baby. The Force was a strong, clear light around them, almost painful to look at.

One night they stayed past the setting suns, neither wanting to get up from their warm rock. The stars overhead were so numerous and clear it was like being in space. Obi-Wan was pointing out the few systems he knew, trying to determine which way was Stewjon. Maul suddenly stood up and began to pace. It was a habit of his and had stopped making Obi-Wan nervous weeks ago. It usually meant he had something to say. _And sometimes he actually says it_ Obi-Wan thought with a smile. Unlike the Jedi, who said whatever came into his head- Maul rarely spoke more than a word or two all day. Sometimes he shared things, or told stories, but it was rare. It was too bad. He was a natural storyteller- with a razor sharp sense of humor.

Now Obi-Wan was warm and happy, content to wait Maul out. He resumed scanning the stars.  
“You asked me if I had someone,” Maul said abruptly. Obi-Wan looked to the dark outline of his companion.  
“I did, but you don’t owe me any explanation,” he said carefully. The Force around Maul was rolling with emotion in slow waves, and Obi-Wan had the sense the Zabrak was feeling his way forward.  
“I thought you were going to confront me with Mandalore. With the Duchess,” Maul said, his voice low and angry. Obi-Wan shivered. This was a topic they had avoided, neither ready to talk about Satine, Savage, or anything related to Mandalore just yet. The death of Qui-Gon they had discussed at length, but this? This was dangerous ground. Obi-Wan sat up.  
“I wasn’t, actually,” he said, pulling his robe more tightly around him. “And I don’t particularly want to.”

“I had someone, for a short time,” Maul said. Obi-Wan blinked at this admission. He would never have guessed in a thousand years-  
“He was my lieutenant, in Death Watch. Gar Saxon was his name. We never-” Maul cut off, clearly embarrassed. “Anyway, when Savage died- he and Rook Kast broke me out of prison, then Dathomir happened...”  
Obi-Wan was almost holding his breath. This was a side to Maul he had not even imagined.  
“I tried to be good to him,” Maul said softly. “But with Savage dead- I had nothing to give. Saxon died as we fled Mandalore the second time. Ahsoka Tano killed him as I escaped. And I never said- anything.” He paced more slowly.  
“I tried to be good to him,” Maul repeated, staring off at the lights of Anchorhead. He winked out in the Force- vanishing completely. Hiding. _He does it so well. He has done it his whole life._

Obi-Wan cleared his throat.  
“Cody and I - he was the Clone Captain assigned to me- never had a chance to talk about it,” Obi-Wan said, choosing his words carefully. “We were too busy, too tired all the time. We just had snatches of time together. Then he was gone. I never told him what it meant to me, either.”

Maul was watching him over his shoulder. The Sith’s eyes glowed in the starlight. He re-appeared in the Force, but muted and terribly sad. Abruptly he turned and held a hand out to Obi-Wan.  
“Come, let’s get back before we are eaten by Krayt Dragons,” he said. Obi-Wan took the offered hand and stood, joints cracking as he stretched. Impulsively he squeezed Maul’s hand as they turned. Maul looked down at their joined palms in surprise but didn’t pull away.  
They picked their way down their usual trail, their senses reaching out for trouble. Trouble never came and they walked home in silence. Maul held Obi-Wan’s hand the whole way. When they reached the house Maul let go, peeling off to his own small space in the workshop without a word. Obi-Wan took his time going to bed, thinking about what Maul had said. Thinking about Cody.

His dreams were strange- a blending of Maul’s story and his own. It was Maul there on Atapua - suddenly trying to kill him. The dreams shifted and turned waking him at least once - a terrified shout fighting out of his teeth as he sat up. He wiped his face and tried to settle back down, shivering under his cloak. Hesitantly he reached out, looking for Maul. Instantly the Zabrak’s presence was there, in his awareness. So he was awake too. It was reassuring. His oldest enemy was with him and Obi-Wan was glad. Maybe it’s all a dream. _And I will wake up in the Temple, hearing Anakin sing to himself as he makes us breakfast. Surely this can’t be real. This can’t be._

The months slipped by, endless broiling days and cold desert nights. Maul and Obi-Wan settled into a routine of sorts- working together during the day, talking at night. There were subjects they avoided. There were things they discussed in depth. They had terrible dreams, and slept odd hours, and let their bodies and minds recover. When he was feeling somewhat more stable Obi-Wan began to write a journal for Luke. He shared everything he could remember about the Jedi- stories and wisdom and the narrative of what happened. It helped his mind make sense of it, allowed him to put together pieces slowly- building the story for the young Skywalker.

  
One morning Obi-Wan was torn out of bed by the sound of a lightsaber. He was halfway across the room before he even opened his eyes, terror flooding his limbs. He stood still, shaking, nauseated, as his mind caught up with his body. _The war is over. We lost. Remember? Maul is… my companion._ He didn't go as far as friend. Not yet.  
_That_ was the saber of course- Obi-Wan had known it, recognized it even in his sleep. He was sure he would recognize that blade anywhere. Obi-Wan shook his head to clear it and drank a cupful of water. He stepped cautiously and looked down into the courtyard to watch Maul train.  
The former Sith was stripped to the waist, stepping through katas slowly and with great precision. Obi-Wan’s stomach roiled at the sight. The sound of the saber, the smell of it burning through the air. _Anakin! I have the high ground! Please stop please don’t make me kill you._  
Obi-Wan staggered, nearly falling down the stairs, to make tea with shaking hands. He had barely added the leaves when Maul came in, stepping directly up to the Jedi and turning Obi-Wan by the shoulder.

“You are distressed,” Maul said. Succinct as always. “Why?” Obi-Wan was tempted to lie, to redirect, to hide- but the truth came out instead.  
“When Anakin turned, we fought on Mustafar,” he said, trying to compose himself. “The sound of the saber- I felt like I was there I felt-” He cut off, shivering. “I didn't realize it would affect me like this, I am sorry. Please do not stop on my account.”  
Maul’s face didn't change, solemn as an owl. His hand squeezed Obi-Wan’s shoulder hard once before letting go. He seemed about to speak but instead turned and walked away. They drank their tea in their usual silence, Obi-Wan tense with embarrassment and misery. A Jedi who cannot even look at a lightsaber...

The next morning Obi-Wan found Maul training again. But this time he held a durasteel staff. It was a ridiculous bastard mix of pieces from their shop- but the way it moved as Maul stepped and turned and stepped again- was anything but ridiculous. Obi-Wan’s heart lurched as he realized Maul had made the staff overnight. He had put his saber away. For Obi-Wan.  
The walls of their dwelling were thick and held the chill of the stones around and above them. Obi-Wan rested his forehead on the wall, letting it cool his feverish skin. His tears stung his chapped skin. _I am moved to tears by a simple kindness. How far have I fallen that something like basic consideration is so precious?_

Obi-Wan took a few deep calming breaths. Gratitude suffused his being, shedding its calm light. Gratitude is a healer. He knew that from the Temple. Suddenly he remembered the exercises he had done with Qui Gon- learning to use gratitude to turn away pain and anger. And now Qui Gon’s killer is reminding me. _The galaxy has gone mad. But I hear you still Master. I sense you._

Obi-Wan was on his second cup, meditating peacefully when Maul came in and poured himself some tea. Obi-Wan opened his eyes to see Maul regarding him with his horns in their characteristic tilt. It occurred to Obi-Wan that he and Maul were the same age- but Maul looked the same as always. _He is handsome now that I look at him. Strange to notice that now._

  
“How was your training?” Obi-Wan asked, still peaceful from the meditation. Maul rolled his eyes and shook his head.  
“Terrible. I have not been this slow since I was a boy,” Maul said. “I shall begin training properly when I regain full motion but until then-” He shuddered but there was a touch of a smile on his lips.

  
“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said. Maul dropped his eyes, suddenly closed off. He shifted, clearly choosing his words.  
“I do not like to see you so distressed. I feel it in,” he gestured between them and in the air, his fingers flicking outwards. “this strange thing with us. It feels- unpleasant.”  
Obi-Wan nodded. Living in close proximity was developing a kind of mental shorthand between them, a mutual sense of each other. It was helpful, so far, for two solitary men who sometimes went days without speaking. But it was also disconcerting.  
“Thank you anyway,” Obi-Wan said again. Maul looked at him over the rim of his cup. The steam curled up around his horns as he drank. He gave a brief nod, then took his cup off with him towards his quarters.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The rooms under their dome all faced the round sunken courtyard- the lower rooms, including Maul’s workshop, were below ground and cool comfort in the hottest part of the day. Obi-Wan prefered the upper rooms with their windows looking over the Juntland wastes. It got a bit sandy when the winds changed direction, but after so much time in space Obi-Wan relished the clean, unfiltered air. But it meant he started his day by sweeping out the little piles of sand and dust that gathered here and there. He knew all its little hiding places by now. The corner by the door always developed a tiny dune if he left it for a day or two. Sometimes he did, just to watch the dune grow and shift. 

“If I left you long enough you would swallow the house,” the Jedi said, watching the dawn light play over the stone, finally touching the tip of the pile. He wasn’t sure at what point he had begun talking to the sand but there were days where he needed to hear his own voice, creaky as it was. He talked as he worked, sweeping the sand, shaking it out of his bedding, tossing it to the leeward side of the house. When he was done he stretched his back, feeling it crackle and complain.

“You are getting old and slow, Kenobi.”

Maul of course. Obi-Wan jerked and turned to face him. Quiet as a cat, keeping himself small in the Force, Maul never failed in sneaking up on Obi-Wan. But this was a bit much. 

“I  _ am  _ old Maul,” he snapped, feeling caught out. Did Maul listen to him talk to the sand?  _ And why should I be embarrassed? He is as mad as I am. I’ve heard him shout at his speeder often enough. _

“Nonsense!” Maul laughed. “You are forty-two human years old!”

“I have been shot no less than six times. I have been stabbed four times, and concussed so many times that I had to have the lining of my skull replaced,” Obi-Wan listed angrily. He knew where Maul was going with this and the idea filled him with dread.  _ I am not ready, I don’t want to, I don’t-  _ Maul’s face however… His grin was wide, crinkling his eyes and shedding years off his face. It was hard to resist. The smile was teasing now.

“Oh, I am so sorry, Master Jedi- I had no idea you had been injured so many times! How is it even possible that you are able to lift a broom? How can you even...  _ walk _ ?!”

He shifted his weight and the servos in his knees hummed - loud in the silence. Obi-Wan hung his head, hand over his eyes. Maul snorted and shook Obi-Wan’s shoulder. 

“Get up, Jedi. Come with me,” Maul said, holding out his hand. 

It wasn’t fair. They rarely talked about Maul’s body- but the unspoken truth was there. Maul was legless and Obi-Wan had done it to him. And now that it was here in the air between them Obi-Wan felt obliged to follow Maul. Guilt was a powerful weapon. 

“I find it frustrating that you manipulate me so well,” he said angrily as he took Maul’s hand. 

That was the consolation prize of course- the physical touch that Maul generally avoided- given as a compensation for Obi-Wan’s manipulation. Maul held his hand the whole way down the stairs, murmuring caution on the crumbling fourth step as usual.

In the courtyard they both stripped down to their trousers- Obi-Wan shivering in the cool air. Maul was looking at him critically, tapping his chin.

“You are too thin,” he said. Obi-Wan looked down at himself and shrugged. They were both lean and hard from living in the desert. Obi-Wan’s ribs were beginning to show under his pale skin. He laughed seeing the contrast between his arms and his belly - brown and white. Maul was somewhat the same - the black and red faded on the parts of his body that were regularly in the sun. He was not as thin as Obi-Wan, perfectly content to eat nothing but lizards and the bitter melons that grew in some of the canyons with their damp little springs. And he had already been training every morning for months, packing muscle back onto his shoulders and arms. Obi-Wan said as much, crossing his arms over his protruding ribs in annoyance.

“I have to maintain my muscle mass,” Maul said. He leaned over and tapped the caps of his prosthetics. “Otherwise I cannot balance.”

“I will need to feed you more,” Maul continued. He seemed annoyed with himself. Obi-Wan laughed again.

“You sound like a Master with a new padawan,” he said. Maul gave him a scathing look.

“I cannot take care of you properly if you do not tell me when you are hungry,” he snapped. Obi-Wan felt a warm flush roll over him, slowing his movements and pebbling his skin.

“Take care of me?” he asked, trying to control his emotions.

“Is that not what I am doing?” Maul asked. He drew back, his brows climbing to his horns. Obi-Wan found he had no response at all. It was too strange of an idea, too big for him to face before his first cup of tea.

“What are we doing out here?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Shaking the dust off your bones,” Maul said. While Obi-Wan tried to determine if he was joking, Maul placed himself beside Obi-Wan and dropped into his first stance. Obi-Wan recognized it immediately. 

“Teras Käsi? At this hour?” he said, mirroring Maul’s position.

“It will be good for you to learn it.” Maul said. 

“I already have,” Obi-Wan said with a grin and moved into the second stance. It was rusty, and his knee popped - but his body remembered. He forced himself to slow down, moving very carefully from stance to stance of the first kata. Maul watched him for a moment before joining in, slightly more smoothly. 

By the time they had repeated the first series three times Obi-Wan was blowing hard and his legs were trembling. He was gritting his teeth, determined not to quit before Maul when the former Sith sat down suddenly with a huff.

“When did I become so old?” he grumbled, straightening his legs and stretching his arms out to wrap his fingers around his metal feet, his back bowed over his knees. Obi-Wan collapsed gratefully beside him and joined him in stretching his legs out. His whole body was trembling slightly from effort. It was like he had been frozen in carbonite and just now thawed out. He reached out and grabbed Maul’s shoulder.

“Thank you again, my  _ old _ friend,” he said. Maul snorted. He put his own hand on top of Obi-Wan’s for a moment and then stood up. 

“I’ll go make tea,” he said. 

“We are not old,” Obi-Wan said, as they settled back in the courtyard with their cups. “We can joke all we want - but we are not old - not by any measure of our species.”

“Your species you mean,” Maul said, tapping away on his data pad. He blew on his tea and took a slow swallow.

“Zabraks live to be over a hundred!” Obi-Wan said. “Master Ictak was 124 when he joined the Force.” Maul looked at the Jedi from under his horns.

“Zabraks from Iridonia perhaps,” he said. “But no one has any idea how long Nightbrothers live.”

Obi-Wan cut off what he had been going to say. There was no arguing with that. The scattered diaspora of Maul’s people were the only survivors of the holocaust of Dathomir. And even before then-

“The Witches never let any of them live?” he asked.

“Not that I have ever been able to find. Most males were kept for three matings, no more. And that is only the ones selected by a witch. The others die of cold, or hunger, or are simply used as fodder for the stronger ones - the ones that were more likely to be selected.”

Maul never looked up as he said all this and Obi-Wan forced himself to remain silent. It was clear any comment of his on the cultures of Dathomir would be unwanted. He searched for something to lighten the mood.

“Well you look young,” he said. Maul looked at him in surprise.

“Do I?” he asked. “I do not think so.” he ran a hand over his face. “I was much more red before.” He sounded stern, like he resented the inaccuracy. 

“You have always been very handsome,” Obi-Wan continued. Part of him delighted in making Maul uncomfortable. Maul’s eyes were as big as saucers. He blinked a few times while Obi-Wan kept a straight face.

“What, what does that mean?” Maul asked. His eyes narrowed and the Force thrummed. “Are you making a joke at my expense?” 

Obi-Wan gave in and laughed. He leaned over and patted Maul’s shoulder. In the Force he pushed out affection as hard as he could. It felt good. As though it built on the gratitude from earlier in the week. Gratitude, kindness, affection - they twined and supported together. Maul sat back again and then dropped his eyes, something approaching a smile touching his lips. 

“I am?” He asked. He drew a hand down his face again. He seemed skeptical. 

“Is it so hard to believe?” Obi-Wan asked. “Your Death Watch man wasn’t blind surely!” 

He would have given anything to take it back the moment it burst from his mouth.

Maul went still as a stone, vanishing in the Force. His face was closed as a blast door. 

“Oh Maul, I am sorry,” Obi-Wan breathed, hand reaching out for the former Sith’s shoulder. He stopped short as Maul shook his head. Maul’s jaw clenched as he tried to speak; nothing came. After a moment he let out a harsh breath.

“No.” He cleared his throat. “No, it is fine. It was hearing... You said... Well I thought of him as mine, but not… like that.” 

Obi-Wan held his breath as Maul began to reappear in the Force. A strand of sadness glowed amid the usual anger.

“He was  _ my _ lieutenant,  _ my _ soldier, I could order him to a suicide mission and he would do it,” Maul said thoughtfully. “But I have never thought of him as ‘ _ mine _ ’ the way you mean it.” 

Obi-Wan’s heart lurched. He knew exactly what Maul meant.  _ Cody…  _

“Did you and your clone captain,” Maul asked.

“His name was,  _ is  _ Commander Cody,” Obi-Wan said.  _ If he is even alive. If he even knows who he is…  _ The idea that Cody might just be C-2224- No. He could not allow that thought. No. Absolutely not. He forced himself to focus on Maul.

“Did you and Cody ever- were you ever, I mean... together,” Maul gestured vaguely, looking uncomfortable.

“Yes, we did,” Obi-Wan said matter of factly. “But I don’t know if… well. We never spoke of it.”

Maul sighed and rubbed his face with both hands.

“Did you and Saxon?”

“No,” Maul said quickly. He seemed embarrassed.

“You said it was after you became Mand’alor?” Obi-Wan asked. The mental gymnastics required to focus on Maul’s story, steering his brain around Satine like a ship avoiding an asteroid, took most of his concentration.

“Yes,” There was a long silence. Satine was there, in the courtyard between them. Maul met Obi-Wan’s eye, then looked away. Not yet. They were not ready for that yet. 

“Sidious came. And… well you know what happened.” He cleared his throat. “I went from there to prison to battle then to battle again and then-” He cut off, curling his arms around his knees, datapad forgotten. 

“Dathomir,” Obi-Wan said for him.  

“Yes- after that- it was not possible. He and Rook Kast had to drag me away,” Maul said. He shivered, remembering. “I had just watched my mother die, seen the holocaust of my people… I had nothing to give him. I barely remember- we went back to Mandalore and then- he was gone.”

“I am sorry,” Obi-Wan said. He risked the touch and squeezed Maul’s shoulder.

Maul leaned back, absently rubbing his thighs where his cybers attached to his body.

“I do not understand why - out of all the things that happened - Gar Saxon should be what I am thinking about,” Maul said sadly. 

“If I think about the bigger things that happened, then I would have to throw myself off the spire,” Obi-Wan said angrily. “Do you know where I was during the Siege of Mandalore?”

The Jedi surged to his feet and began to pace, suddenly furious.

“Anakin Skywalker and I,” he was shouting but didn’t care, “were rescuing Sheev Palpatine from Count Dooku!! We were on Dooku’s bloody ship and-”

A sudden bark of laughter interrupted him - he glared down at Maul who was folded over - shoulders shaking and hands over his face.

“I am sorry, Kenobi,” he gasped. But he couldn't stop laughing. “I just- you were rescuing Palpatine, from Dooku!” 

“This is the opposite of funny,” Obi-Wan said dryly but he couldn't resist Maul’s laughter. The former Sith’s face was buried in his arms but still - it was real laughter, rarer than rain. Obi-Wan smiled.

“I know, I know, I apologize,” Maul said, forcibly pulling himself together. Every time he grinned his pointed canines glinted pink in the dawn light. Obi-Wan felt a sudden vertigo, so intense he had to lean against the wall.  _ Darth Maul is laughing because Darth Vader and I were rescuing Darth Sidious from Darth Tyranus. _

“It isn’t real,” he said to himself. “I have gone mad.” For a moment the courtyard swooped and spun, the disc of pale sky above revolving around him. 

Maul stood and slapped him hard on the back. The present snapped into place.   Obi-Wan caught himself against the wall.

“Come Master Jedi,” Maul said, still grinning.  “Let’s go scrub the sweat off with sand and then eat some desiccated lizard - start our day off properly.”

Obi-Wan couldn't tell if Maul was joking or not but it was both the kindest and most awful thing anyone had ever said to him. Forcing his mind into line he pushed off the wall and followed Maul’s broad back inside.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to town for supplies and consequences.
> 
> additional trigger warning for flashbacks (but also how to help someone out of them)

“I think we have reached the end of my wilderness survival skills,” Maul said. Obi-Wan took his cup, blowing on the surface to cool the steaming tea.  
“The lizard-eating joke is no longer funny,” Maul continued. “It is time to go to market; and this time we need to think more seriously about supplies.”  
“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan asked. Maul sipped his tea, trying to decide if the Jedi was joking. He wasn’t. “Have you never lived anywhere that wasn’t a Temple or a ship?” Maul asked with narrowed eyes.

“I have been in some drawn out sieges, but no,” Obi-Wan said. Maul sighed.

“That explains much. Why we have the best tea but no food and no means to grow or obtain it,” he said. “It is time I stepped in.”

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure whether to laugh of feel defensive. Maul’s assessment was fair, so in the end he nodded.

They packed parts from Obi-Wan’s ship into their speeder and went to Mos Eisley. Maul made quick work of the market, haggling ruthlessly in a low voice. He was not above leaning on the Force but for the most part he bartered on skill and Obi-Wan felt another surge of gratitude. The Force had sent him just the person he needed, if not exactly the person he thought he wanted. _The galaxy is a mysterious place. The Force is with me, and I am one with the Force._

They took advantage of being in town to eat and drink in a cantina, “just to gather intelligence,” as Maul put it - though Obi-Wan noted his friend ate four bowls of stew and drank half his weight in kaf. When he finally pushed back from the table he looked as content and sleek as a Loth Cat.

“I’m going to the head, stay here,” he said. Obi-Wan raised a brow at him. He hoped it conveyed everything he thought about being ordered around like a new padawan. A smile ghosted over Maul’s face as he walked around the corner to the latrine.

When he didn't come back after a few minutes, Obi-Wan settled back, thinking of ordering more stew. When Maul still hadn’t come back after that Obi-Wan felt the first touches of worry. This was an occupied town, but Maul was a master at avoiding detection. Surely he was fine. But something in the Force, some uneasiness, pushed Obi-Wan to his feet anyway. He followed the way his friend had gone, stretching out his feelings. He passed the latrines, sensing his companion beyond them. As he rounded to the main street he saw something that made his heart lurch in fear.

There was one of the flat top projection droids that scattered around in occupied towns. They projected clips of propaganda, recruitment offers, reminders of local laws- all the usual imperial chatter. This one appeared to be malfunctioning. It had caught itself in a corner and the image was frozen. It was Palpatine. His face had been caught in a rictus of anger, flickering and stuttering against the white adobe of the building. The voice-over was also stuck: a garbled tangle of Sidious’ admonitions.

ALWAYS REMEMBER LOYALTY IS THE ONLY… ALWAYS REMEMBER LOYALTY IS THE ONLY...

Obi-Wan drew back in fear. But even as he realized what it was he guessed what must have happened. He dropped into the Force - reaching, reaching for Maul. He stretched himself in every direction, not even bothering to hide. If Maul had been confronted with the face of his Master-

There he was! Obi-Wan sprinted down a side alley and there was Maul crouched against the wall, curled in on himself, eyes wide and unseeing. He was muttering something and rocking front and back.

“Always remember, always remember, I am nothing. Filth, nothing, _nothing!_ Obedience is the first lesson. Always remember loyalty is the second lesson… always remember-” the muttering was interspaced with hitching breaths and shivers. 

Obi-Wan was forcibly reminded of when he had encountered his enemy after his “resurrection.” Madness had ruled every part of Maul’s mind. The Force was a garbled shout of fear and loathing. And here it was again. The first time he had felt nothing but loathing. This time? Pity. Grief. Worry.  _Careful, careful Obi-Wan. He may not know you._

He crouched in front of the former Sith (but not too close by the Force) and reached out with the Force, using the gentlest touch he could manage. At first there was nothing. Maul rocked and rocked, holding his horns. Obi-Wan pushed a little harder. Maul blinked, his eyes focusing on Obi-Wan’s face. Obi-Wan pushed harder still. He found the thread between them, almost gone, thinner than a spiderweb.

"Maul? You are safe. You are on Tatooine. You are safe. This is Tatooine," he said it gently, memories of doing the same for clone soldiers overcome with their memories washing over him. In the Force he sent the feeling of them training together in the mornings, of drinking tea and watching Luke. 

“Kenobi?” Maul whispered. Obi-Wan braced himself. He wasn’t sure if Maul understood.

“You’re here? Oh thank the Force,” Maul moaned and sagged forward, arms wrapped around his head. He was suddenly there in the Force, blazing out relief and fear in equal measure. Obi-Wan gasped in relief and put both hands on Maul’s head, pulling their foreheads together. Maul clutched at Obi-Wan's shoulders like the last handhold on a cliff face.

“I thought I had gone mad. That it was a dream,” Maul said. “That I had made it up, in my mind. All of it. I didn't know where I was.”

“Not a dream, my old friend,” Obi-Wan said, understanding. “We are allies now. You live on Tatooine with me. We are standing watch together.”

“Thank the Force,” Maul repeated. “I doubted. I saw…”

“I saw it too,” Obi-Wan said, shaken. “Let us leave this place.”

 

 ---

 

That night was cold and moonless. Obi-Wan was jerked awake by a crash and screaming from the direction of Maul’s quarters. Maul screaming at night was  not that uncommon. Both men had nightmares they couldn't avoid. Sometimes Obi-Wan would wake finding Maul shaking him- dragging him up out of some dream of wandering the Jedi temple, calling for Anakin and stumbling over bodies of dead children in the dark. Maul also had nightmares- though he never revealed what they were. Obi-Wan was always hesitant to wake him. Maul had thrown him across the room once, and punched him twice. The Jedi had learned to be cautious. But after today...

Maul’s shouts continued as Obi-Wan stood at the top of the stairs. The stars gleamed cold overhead. Obi-Wan’s breath clouded the air as he listened. He heard shuffling steps and a hoarse sob. _Do I go down? He sounds awake. Would he want me to see him this way?_  There was another wracking cry and Obi-Wan clattered down the stairs- his fingers trailing on the wall in the dark. He went to Maul’s door and cleared his throat loudly. The sounds from inside the workshop cut off abruptly and Maul’s grief nearly vanished in the Force. There was still a thread there and Obi-Wan followed it, letting that quiet trace guide him through the maze of Maul’s quarters until he found the former Sith. Maul was slumped against his speeder. Obi-Wan could barely make out that Maul had his arms wrapped around his durasteel knees.

“May I turn on a light?” Obi-Wan asked quietly.

“No.” Maul’s voice was ragged, not much more than a whisper.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I am uncertain.” Maul said.

Obi-Wan sat down slowly, placing himself beside Maul but giving him space.

“Was it a nightmare?”

“Yes,” Maul said. He shifted uncomfortably. “About Naboo.”

Obi-Wan sucked in a fearful breath. Naboo?

 Obi-Wan had no idea what to say. They had discussed it of course. The things that came afterwards had given both men a kind of objectivity about Naboo. The death of Qui Gon Jinn at Maul’s hand, Obi-wan defeating Maul, cutting his legs off- they talked about these things through the lense of what came later- as though their first confrontation had taken place in some previous life. It was “before.”

Apparently not.

They sat in silence while Maul regulated his breathing- getting himself under control.

“I used to believe I died on Naboo,” Maul said. He leaned his head back on  the speeder. “That everything coming after was a dream. Or some kind of hell.”

“We were just apprentices,” Obi-Wan said. This was something he had considered. Every time Maul reappeared in his life, trying to kill him over and over- it all came back to those two boys, hammering away at each other around the generator complex.

“Killing Qui Gon Jinn was the apex experience of my life,” Maul said. Obi-Wan startled but crushed the retort on his lips. _Oh master- I am so sorry. I wasn’t fast enough I wasn’t-_

He could feel Maul’s anger.

“For, what, four minutes?” he said, his voice harsh with loathing. “Four minutes watching you through the power shield, secure in the knowledge that I had succeeded. I had killed a Master Jedi in direct combat, blade to blade. The Force sang to me- I felt my entire lineage- Malgus to Bane to Sidious to me- their revenge enacted through _my_ hand.”

Obi-Wan had to turn his head away. The horror of that moment was something he had taken years to process- to heal with his his friends and masters. It was the only death he had been allowed to grieve properly. But hearing Maul talk about it like this- the death of Obi-Wan’s master, of his _father-_ as the greatest moment of Maul’s life was making Obi-Wan feel sick.

“I used to think that killing you would somehow turn the clock back, allow me to regain my honor,” Maul said. Obi-Wan bit his lip at the pain in Maul’s voice. “And even when I didn't believe that anymore, I still didn't know what else to do. My singular purpose- the purpose to which I had been made- was gone.”

There was a long silence, Obi-WAn could feel Maul shivering, getting himself together, fighting off the dream and the memories it dredged up. In the dark it seemed somehow safer to hear and say these things.

“I thought, when I defeated you on Naboo,” Obi-Wan said quietly. “That I was dreaming. We were celebrated, there were parades. But Qui Gon was dead. And that was impossible.” Obi-Wan heard the rasp of Maul’s horns rubbing against the speeder. It was something he did when he was thinking.

“I was knighted for killing you- did you know that?” Obi-Wan asked. “When you reappeared- there were some who joked of taking my knighthood away. They thought it was very funny.”

“How are we able to sit here like this?” Maul asked suddenly. He sounded tired. “With our history?”

Obi-Wan shrugged. It was something he asked himself regularly. He fell back on what they had said when Maul first woke on his couch.

“There is no one else.” He reached out, fumbling in the dark until he found Maul’s shoulder, then felt down his arm until he reached his hand. Obi-Wan took it, pressed his palm to Maul’s and sat back, their joined hands in his lap. They sat quietly- the only sounds the wind above the courtyard and the low rasp of Maul’s horns on the speeder’s chassis.

Gradually Maul re-appeared in the Force, his breathing more regular now. He squeezed Obi-Wan’s hand and stood up, pulling the Jedi up with him. Wordlessly he led Obi-Wan back to the door and watched as he climbed the stairs again.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maul's POV.
> 
> Some ableist talk here, Maul not being very forgiving of his own mental state. But he doesn't know any better.

Maul had long accepted that he and Kenobi were probably insane. His own mind, while better than the snarling, thrashing thing it had been during the war, was not whole. There were sometimes blanks, dark spaces where he couldn’t recall minutes, even hours. And even without those, his thoughts… slipped sometimes, like a bad ratchet. He accepted this fact, the way he accepted the scars on his body, or the cybernetic legs that held him up.

When he first landed, and began this strange life, he lived in a kind of fog of grief. Emotions came and went, appearing out of the fog like ghosts, strange landmarks he didn’t recognize- though they seemed familiar. His mind was too exhausted to make heads or tails of them. 

But over the months with Kenobi the landmarks became places he could name. A mental map appeared gradually of a strange city he and Kenobi shared. There was the memory of Savage’s smile, housed with Kalindi’s and Rook’s. Gar Saxon had his own confusing monument. Maul’s mother dwelled in anger, resentment and… love? Perhaps. He wasn’t sure. There were things he had never been able to define until he lived with Kenobi. Kenobi. At first he could barely look at him. But Maul watched the Jedi closely now, for clues to his own feelings.

When Kenobi wept, and said _ I will never see them again _ Maul understood his own tears more easily. When Kenobi smashed rocks, he was angry, screaming  _ why, why, why, _ unaware that Maul was watching him.  _ Why? Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I treat Savage better?  _ Regret, longing, sadness, fear, anger. He relearned how to express them- like a child mirroring an older sibling.

Kenobi had no idea how closely Maul watched him, which was for the best. He didn’t want Kenobi to know just how damaged he was. How confused. The Jedi was bewildering. Maul studied him the way he had studied any other skill he wanted to acquire, through stealth and taking copious mental notes.

_ He is angry today. He is tired of being cold and hot and dry and dirty.  _ So Maul would top off Kenobi’s water ration with some of his own, claiming efficiencies in the vaporators making the difference. Kenobi, scrubbed clean, hydrated, calmer, happier- was worth some itchy skin and a dry mouth. 

_ Kenobi is sad, he misses his friends. He feels lonely.  _ Maul would make himself touch the Jedi at least three times during the day, and do something to make him laugh at least once.

Touching Kenobi was hard at first. Just learning the habit was difficult. Maul quickly worked out several specific touches, however. The first was a hand on Kenobi’s shoulder. It was a steadying grip and helped settle the Jedi down. Touching Kenobi’s face was extremely effective. Maul would wipe off a smudge, real or not, or pretend to check Kenobi’s face for something. It made the Jedi feel cared for. And since the care of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker was the task Maul had set himself it was very satisfying when Kenobi’s eyes slid closed and he pushed his face against Maul’s hand.

But the best touch, the one that Maul himself craved sometimes,  was what he thought of as squeezing. He would never admit it, even to himself, but squeezing Kenobi or being squeezed by Kenobi cleared Maul’s mind for days. He treated it like a secret weapon, afraid that the power would wear off if used too much. But when he put his arms around the Jedi his hearts would slow immediately and the constant grinding in the back of his mind stilled. It was like magick. So he treated it as such, with a mix of reverence and suspicion, adding it to the list of little superstitions he practiced throughout his day.

Making Kenobi laugh was difficult. Maul didn't quite understand the rules of human jokes. But gradually he picked up a few tricks. Kenobi always laughed when Maul cursed for some reason, slapping a hand over his mouth like a child. Always good with languages, Maul had a surprising store of colorful curses, in a variety of languages. His master had always said cursing was for those too stupid to express themselves- so Maul didn't curse as a rule. Perhaps that was why Kenobi found it funny?

 

_ He is talking to the sand again. I should speak to him today, make the effort. Savage liked it when I spoke to him too. I wish I had done it more. Withholding it just to upset him was petty, and stupid. _ Admitting his shortcomings to himself was nothing new, but learning from them, instead of repeating them over and over, was a good sign, Maul thought.  _ Perhaps it’s age.  _ He would makes sure he spoke to Kenobi on and off all day, and try to tell at least one story. 

Kenobi loved stories. This turned out to be a surprisingly useful trait. Maul quickly picked up which anecdotes would make Kenobi happy and which ones would appall him. And the recall exercise was good for Maul’s mind. It helped him organize the jumbled timeline of his memories. And focusing on the kinds of stories Obi-Wan liked made the terrible stories less fearful. It was a kind of exercise, forcing his mental muscles to focus on happy memories, or at least satisfying ones.

_ I once hunted a rathtar pack alone on Twon Ketee with nothing but a spear and a rebreather. It was the finest hunt I ever went on. It lasted two weeks. By the end I had to throw away my clothes, they were so disgusting. But then I found I had no clean ones so I had to report back to Coruscant in nothing but boots. _

_ If you wonder whether Darth Sidious has a sense of humor I can tell you he does, sometimes. He acted as if nothing was wrong and I spent half the day listening to his lectures and running errands for him- completely naked. He later told me he was waiting to see if I would say anything, and he laid bets with Plagueis about how long I would go before having the sense to put on clothes.  _

_ And did you learn that lesson? _

_ No, I never learned anything he tried to teach. I thought everything was a challenge to be overcome. He wanted me to have the basic sense to come out of the cold. But I thought it was a test of my ability to withstand it. He gave up before I did, sending my ignorant ass to my quarters to get dressed. _

He used the Togrutan word for ass, which as he predicted made Obi-Wan snort with laughter.

_ How long? _

_ Six hours. I nodded and said yes master that is so wise and yes master I understand for six hours while we pretended I wasn’t standing there naked, too hard-headed to say Master I am going to go wash and get dressed. _

_ When was this? _ _  
_ _ A year before Naboo, maybe two. My master had to pay his master six hundred credits for losing the wager. A hundred credits for every hour I stood there with my am’tchek hanging out.  _

Obi-Wan howled at this, laughing harder than he had in weeks. Which was incredibly satisfying.

 

_ “When I was a boy I had a baby nexu as a friend for a time, I didn’t know how big it would get...” _

_ “While I waited for you here on Tatooine I was attacked by sand people...” _

_ “My Master once sent me to ask his Master for a Force adjuster...” _

_ “I saved Komori Vos’ life once...”  _

_ “So there was this pod race...” _

_ “I carved my name on a wall of the Jedi temple- it may even still be there…” _

_ “...and the police caught me by the banking guild in Moon Square. I was no more than seven I think. I had to give all the sweets back. I was heartbroken. Sidious gave me a terrible thrashing but also gave me a box of sweets afterwards.  _

_ “I’m allergic to whoonit fish, I’ll throw up for hours. But one time...” _

_ “...I dove under the bed but they started… you know… right above me. And the bounce, bounce, bounce- it was ridiculous. Of course it was awkward- I was fifteen!” _

The stories made Kenobi happy, and they stopped him talking to the sand so much.

 

But sometimes Maul couldn't do it. Sometimes he simply didn't have the capacity to monitor and care for Kenobi all the time. So he would go off into the wastes and hunt and let the ratchets in his mind slide all the way out, descending into a kind of sun sickness. He talked to himself. He ate raw snakes, used their venom to induce visions and laughed at the voices in his head. They screamed at him and he raved back at them. He gave in to the Dark Side and trained with his saber, flinging himself up and down the spires and caves, letting his mind drop away in the perfect rage of a pure Juyo practice. He suspected that he had never been as strong, never reached the kind of mental unhinging required for perfection in the form until now.

He came back from those trips badly dehydrated and ill, but peaceful. It took him a day or so to get back into his Kenobi management duties afterwards but felt better for it. He took up his work with a clear head.

 

_ Kenobi is sad, I need to touch him at least three times today. _

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

“I want to meet him,” Maul said one evening as they were cleaning up for supper. Obi-Wan looked up from his box of parts and blinked in confusion.

“Meet who?”

“Luke, of course,” Maul said. He was looking vaguely in the direction of the Lars homestead. They were due to check on the family again soon. Obi-Wan straightened, looking uncertain.

“Owen Lars told me to stay away,” he said. “He was quite adamant about it.”

“I will talk to him in Anchorhead first,” Maul said. Obi-Wan scratched the back of his head, wondering how to explain to Maul…

“You think this is a bad idea,” Maul said flatly, reading his reaction. “You think they will see me as a threat.”

“Well...” Obi-Wan said.

“You only think I look threatening because I have tried to murder you many times,” Maul said, holding up a finger.

“Many,” Obi-Wan conceded, trying not to laugh.

“The Lars have no idea who I am,” Maul shrugged. “They will know I am not a Jedi and that I care for Luke’s safety. That is all.”

“You are going to get yourself shot,” Obi-Wan muttered.

 

But in the end it happened more or less the way Maul predicted. Obi-Wan watched with astonishment as Maul strode up to Owen and Beru in the market and introduced himself. They spoke for long moment, Maul gesturing to the baby swaddled against Owen’s chest. Obi-Wan, standing concealed by a market stall shook his head in amazement as Owen gripped Maul’s shoulder and nodded. They all turned to look at him and he came forward, feeling as nervous as a new padawan.

“Owen. Beru,” he said with a bow to each.

“I have told them that we are allies but that I will not allow you to inflict your Jedi nonsense on the child,” Maul said. Obi-Wan felt his brow try to climb into his hairline. Maul shrugged.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said. “I hope that we get a chance to-”

Owen Lars cut him off, his furious face and pointing finger contrasting wildly with the wide blue eyes and toothless smile of the baby in the sling on his chest.

“I’ll be watching you,” he snarled. “You don’t come near him unless we call. I don’t want your bullshit, Jedi-”

“Owen, stop,” Beru said, laying a hand on his arm. She glanced at the end of the street where a couple of stormtroopers walked by on patrol. “We can work out the details later. Give me the baby and go get your parts.”

Owen shook himself and unslung Luke with a practiced dip of his shoulder, passing the entire package to Beru. The baby shrieked happily and reached for Maul, babbling and waving his little hands. Beru laughed.  
“He likes you,” she said. Maul nodded, a slight smile in the corner of his mouth. He let the boy catch his finger and waggled it, making Luke laugh. Obi-Wan was staring at Maul and the baby, almost overwhelmed by the the shape of them in the Force. Maul was... happy, as close to happy as Obi-Wan had ever sensed. And Luke as usual was a blue light - bright as a star.

“May we come to the homestead next cycle?” Maul asked. Beru nodded and smiled.

“Yes, come for supper on the third day. Make sure you come before sunsdown though,” she said.

“We will,” Maul said and pulled Obi-Wan away. He bowed to Beru, Core style, and she smiled at him.

It was that simple. Obi-Wan couldn’t decide whether to be happy or annoyed.

 

\------

 

The next afternoon found Maul tired and distracted, as he had been all day. He wondered if he was falling ill. His thoughts seemed to shuffle around in circles. He wondered if it was from meeting the boy. Maul had been as surprised as the others when Luke had grabbed at his fingers. To be trusted so readily... How many people had trusted him? Four? Five now with little Luke.

Of those five, three were dead. It wasn’t a good record. So perhaps that was why he felt so strange? His mind was still avoiding the worst memories, focusing on minor betrayals, smaller mistakes, things that had gone wrong for reasons beyond his control.

What if Saxon has come to him earlier- as soon as he became Manda’lor? Would anything have happened differently? Would Maul have been content with what he had? Not reached into Sidious’s realm and attracted his attention? _Bah. I would not have had any more idea of what to do with him than I did when he finally spoke. I would have just stared at him like an idiot. Savage would have laughed at me._

 Maul watched Kenobi out of the corner of his eyes, trying to understand what made the Jedi different from him. How did the Jedi know to do these things, despite the notorious celibacy of their order?

“How did you do it?” he blurted. Kenobi was trying his hand at pottery, turning clay to make them better pots than what they currently had. So far it had been a disaster, in Maul’s opinion. That didn’t seem to dissuade the Jedi.

“I added more silica this time, and the tensile strength-“

“Not the pot, Kenobi. I mean the clone captain. How did you approach him? How did you know what to do? How did you even-“

The look on Kenobi’s face snapped Maul’s mouth shut. He was blinking at Maul in astonishment.

Maul took a step backwards and then another before he turned and fled for the stairs, hot shame flooding his belly, shuddering the muscles in his back.

Obi-Wan caught him by the vaporators, almost exactly where he had first appeared.

“Stop!” Kenobi said and for a wonder Maul did. The Jedi didn’t touch him but walked slowly around to his front. Maul kept his head down, fists clenched and shoulders hunched.

“Force, you’re fast!” Kenobi gasped, leaning forward with his hands on his knees. Maul remained silent, fighting the urge to strike out and flee. The respect they had built for each other, a fragile kind of bond,  was the only thing that stayed his hand.

 Obi-Wan didn't say anything at first. The setting sun was shining on Maul’s left, and he had turned his head away so that it was in shadow. Obi-Wan had never seen anyone so miserable. Maul was hunched in on himself and completely blank in the Force. All Obi-Wan could do was push out reassurance, respect, understanding, a commiseration of their mutual suffering. He didn't touch his friend. _My friend. We’re friends now, aren’t we?  The last survivors of that hellscape? Does he know that?_

 “Will you sit with me a moment?” Obi-Wan asked. Maul nodded, an abrupt, mechanical movement. They sat with their backs to the setting sun, watching their shadows lengthen in front of them. Maul had positioned himself so that he was still somewhat turned away. He was there in the Force, a faint thread of humiliation and rage that broke Obi-Wan’s heart.

“I missed my chance,” Maul said, cutting off whatever meaningless reassurances Obi-Wan was going to offer. The former Sith’s shoulders were slumped, his head hanging. “I missed so much. My life was… focused like the beam in a saber. I never had _anything_ other than my purpose, my destiny. I missed everything else. Everything. Family, friends…” He left the rest unsaid but Obi-Wan felt it. Maul’s loss throbbed in the Force, so acute that Obi-Wan could almost _see_ Gar Saxon, the big lieutenant with his white hair and crooked nose.

“And now I will never know what it meant, what kind of a life I could have led…” Maul spat. The Force roiled _: Unwanted. Thrown Away. Lonely._

Obi-Wan shifted. He wanted to speak but wasn’t sure it was welcome. Maul crossed his arms tightly across his belly and bent forward. Another man would have been wailing in pain and misery, but Maul was dry-eyed, though the lines of his face were all drawn down in suffering.

“Maul,” Obi-Wan said cautiously. “ _We_ are friends now, are we not?”

Maul looked at him, his eyes wide. After a moment he blinked and seemed to consider it.

“I had not thought-” he hesitated. In the Force a tendril of happiness, gossamer thin, seemed to manifest in the space between them. “ _We_ are friends, now.” He repeated Obi-Wan’s emphasis.

“Good,” Obi-Wan said. “That makes me happy.” He didn't dare breathe on what was between them, lest he snuff it out. Instead, he sat silent, staring at the shadows of the rocks, keeping his Force presence serene and safe. He felt the thread widen until it was a wire, fine but strong.

“I did not know you thought of me that way,” Maul said. Obi-Wan turned to him. He pushed affection as hard as he could, letting it flood the space around them.

“You make me laugh. You take care of me. I am happy to see you and I am lonely and bored when you are away. I had to make myself see it- but we _are_  friends. Despite everything, or maybe because of everything, that happened to us.”

“Could...” Maul hesitated, clearing his throat. His voice dropped almost to a whisper. “Could we be a family?” His head was turned away again, his eyes glued to the ground and Obi-Wan felt the courage it took to even ask the question.

“I think we already are,” he said dryly. “We are Luke Skywalker’s strange desert uncles. He certainly thinks so.” Obi-Wan gave in to his urge and wrapped an arm around Maul’s shoulders, his other hand prepared to block if Maul lashed out. But he didn't. Maul scooted closer instead and slipped an awkward arm around Obi-Wan’s waist. Neither spoke. What was there was too brittle, too fragile for words. So they just sat still and watched the shifting shadows.

 They stayed after the suns set and the moons rose. It was cold, but neither wanted to let go.

“I think we have to go inside,” Maul said finally, noting Obi-Wan’s chattering teeth.

 “Would it be alright if we held hands?” Obi-Wan mumbled, embarrassed. The fact was, he was so touch starved that he had nearly been sleeping with Maul’s arm around him. He sighed in relief when Maul nodded. They tangled their fingers and came back inside, making their way down to the upper courtyard by the light of the moons.

Then, another conundrum: Obi-Wan slept above, Maul below. They dithered needlessly, neither sure what to do, neither willing to let go.

“This is ridiculous,” Obi-Wan muttered. He pulled the shivering Maul into his own little room and pushed him through the dark space and onto his bed in the alcove.

“What are-”

“Slide against the wall,” Obi-Wan said. “Then face me. Good. Now I lay this way, and place my back against your front.”

He did the actions as he explained them and Maul made a faint whine of distress. Obi-Wan froze.

“Is this alright?” he asked. Maul answered by pulling Obi-Wan hard against his chest and pushing his face against his neck.

Obi-Wan pulled the covers up until they were in a warm little cave of their own making.

 Maul could barely conceal his surprise. This version of squeezing was even better than the standing up way. Maul had his back to a wall, and Obi-Wan’s back was to him - both of which gave him a measure of security. The Jedi was warm and he smelled good. Well, he smelled bad, objectively: they both did. But he smelled vital and human and alive, so Maul burrowed his face harder into Kenobi’s neck. Kenobi shivered and Maul paused. Was he doing something wrong? Had he jabbed Kenobi with a horn? He loosened his hold and shifted his hands, unsure where they were supposed to go. His hips were pressed against Kenobi’s lower back but maybe his cybernetics were somehow cold, or wrong in some way. Should he put them further from Kenobi’s skin? He began to worry.

 Obi-Wan sensed Maul’s confusion, but at first he was so caught up in the overwhelming relief of their position to react. He felt like he had just been released from carbonite, thawing back to his true temperature, with Maul’s arms around him, the feel of his breath on Obi-Wan’s neck, his chest tight against Obi-Wan’s back. Even the hard forehorn bumping the back of his skull. Obi-Wan practically moaned, it felt so good. But even as he was sinking into the comfort of it, he felt Maul’s anxiety.

 “Are you alright?” Obi-Wan whispered.

“I am not sure,” Maul said. His voice sounded strained.

“Is this too much?” Obi-Wan asked.

“I like it,” Maul said hastily and Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief. “But I am not sure if I am doing it correctly.”

Obi-Wan laughed gently.

“There is no correct way to do this,” he said. He pulled Maul’s arms more tightly around himself, and tangled his feet with Maul’s metal ones. He even rubbed the back of his skull against Maul’s fore horn, as though scratching an itch.

“Do you like it?” Maul asked.

“Yes, it has been a long time,” Obi-Wan said ruefully.

“Humans need touch.” Maul recited this fact like something he had read somewhere.

“We do,” Obi-Wan laughed. “Lots of it.”

“Is that why you touch me so much?” Maul asked. Kenobi stilled, unease filling the Force.

“Do I?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan said. He was embarrassed.

“No! I like it now,” Maul said. He wanted to reassure the Jedi. “I like very much. At first I didn't know how to do it: so I practiced.”

“You practiced? On me?” Obi-Wan asked with a laugh.

“Yes,” Maul said, suddenly uncertain.

“I suspected as much,” Obi-Wan said dryly.

“No you didn't; I was very careful,” Maul protested.

“Nonsense,” Obi-Wan said. “You have three specific touches you do in varying sequences but I believe it’s generally shoulder shoulder hug shoulder face shoulder face hug. Or close enough to that pattern.”

“What do you mean hug - oh, you mean squeezing. Yes. Well, that is… aggravating. I thought I was being very discrete.” Maul sighed in annoyance, muttering something to himself in Mando’a.

“Maul,” Obi-Wan said gently. “I’m a Jedi Master who sat on the Jedi Council. I did not just wander into this village green as summer grass.”

Maul shifted.

“I am only trying to take care of you,” he said. He sounded defensive and Obi-Wan reached back and patted his head, fumbling between his horns.

“You’re doing a very good job,” he said.

“I am?”

Obi-Wan shivered. “Yes, you really are,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “We were enemies, we have been enemies since we were boys,” he said. “And now I owe you my life.”

He shook his head. He wasn’t sure how to say what he was feeling. He patted Maul’s head again, and tried to share his feelings in the Force.

It was _relief._ Relief every time he realized that he wasn’t alone. Relief to know there was someone to share this burden. Relief every single day at Maul’s competence and skill. Relief and gratitude.

“I’m glad,” Maul said. He was overcome with what Kenobi was sharing. He didn’t have the words to say more. So instead he buried his face in Kenobi’s hair again.

“I’m glad,” he repeated. “I’m glad.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the wait was so long! I went into a bizarro word slump! But I'm back. This is the second to last chapter. See updated tags.

Maul and Obi-wan sank into their earlier routine of training, working and watching Luke. Obi-Wan kept the diary, adding things about the Jedi, everything he could remember. He asked Maul if he wanted to write about the Sith but Maul refused. Even mentioning his former master made him uneasy. He did help when Obi-Wan wrote about crafting a lightsaber. While the approach to kyber crystals was different, the basic tech was the same, and Maul had many insights that Obi-Wan didn’t. 

“Someday he will make his own saber,” Maul said, drawing components onto a page of the book. “And it will be a good one. Strong, and true.”

“Blue,”Obi-Wan said softly, “like his father.” Maul shook his head.

“No, it will be green,” he said. He didn't elaborate. 

The work on the chapter forced Obi-Wan to reconsider his own saber. With Maul sitting beside him he opened the trunk and took it out. He was about to slam the lid shut when Maul stopped him. 

“Let me see Anakin Skywalker’s saber,” he said briskly. Obi-Wan looked away, feeling sick, but floated the saber out to Maul. The former Sith held it loosely in his palms, eyes closed for a time. His breathing slowed, and a small frown appeared between his brows. Finally he lifted his head, blinking and breathing more deeply.

“The crystal is pure,” Maul said softly. “It has done terrible things, things I am not sure that even I could have done. But it is still pure. If Luke chooses to wield his father’s saber, it will not harm him.”

“Harm him?” Obi-Wan asked, appalled.

“The Dark Side,” Maul began. He chose his words carefully, turning the saber in his broad palms. “It clings to things. It’s touch is… sticky… for lack of a better term. You talk of falling, you Jedi. And that is true. It is surrender- and once you surrender, the dark doesn't give you up easily. It permeates everything you touch. There are objects in my master’s collection…” He shuddered. “Things that would make you go mad if you touched them for too long.”

“Force,” Obi-Wan breathed. “I didn’t know.”

“But this saber,” Maul continued. “This saber is pure. It has… a good heart. It will serve Luke well.”

“The strongest stars have hearts of kyber,” Obi-Wan recited. He looked down at his own saber in his lap.  _ This saber did not kill Anakin Skywalker after all. Maybe I have maligned it. It is a part of me. I made it the year after Qui Gon died.  _

“If we are going to travel the wastes, to visit Luke,” Maul said gently. “We should be armed. You should consider taking up your saber again, my old friend.” Obi-Wan smiled. Yes. It was time. To defend Luke, but also to train him. Obi-Wan needed to be ready.

\---

When they appeared at the Lars homestead as promised they were met by a tired and exasperated Owen, struggling with the family vaporator, which was flickering on and off and emitting a strange smell. Maul immediately pulled off his robe and settled beside the farmer to work on the problem. Obi-Wan was drawn to the other side of the dome where he found Beru and Luke, watching the suns set. 

“Good evening,” he said with a bow. Beru smiled and greeted him, swaying back and forth with a sleepy Luke in her arms. She glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the vaporator. 

“Thank you for coming, if your friend can fix that broken filter gasket it will save Owen a long day tomorrow,” she said. Obi-Wan shrugged. He had no idea what a filter gasket even did.

“Maul will fix it,” he said. “He is very skilled with mechanical problems.”

“I’m glad I have you alone,” Beru said, glancing back again. “I have so many things I have wanted to ask you.”

“Yes?”

“About Luke,” she sighed, placing a gentle kiss on Luke’s downy cheek. A little hand emerged and patted her face. “Is it true his parents are both dead?”

_ Anakin Skywalker  is dead, Kenobi. Vader is not your brother, he is not that little boy from Tattooine. _

“Yes, they are both dead,” he said, the pain around his heart stopping his breath. The saber at his belt, that Maul had insisted he carry, felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

“I met them,” Beru said softly. “We don’t talk about it. It was a terrible time. Owen loved Shmi, you see. She was the closest thing to a mother he ever had. And the Jedi boy, his grief was terrible. Terrible and selfish and… frightening. He was frightening.”

“He could be,” Obi-Wan said gently. “But he was also funny, and kind. He had a good heart.”

Beru seemed skeptical. 

“But  _ she, _ ” Beru sighed. “Oh Padme was wonderful. He left her, you see. When he went after his mother. Just left Padme with us. We had dinner together and breakfast the next day. She was wonderful.”

And so the pain was new again. Obi-Wan’s grief was refreshed as Beru poured out her own- about the beautiful woman who had stayed with them, and helped to make dinner, and laughed and teased Beru’s father in law. And showed Owen card tricks, and sat with Beru late into the night whispering about their men. Obi-Wan could see it. He could see beautiful, vibrant Padme. _I_ _loved her too, Anakin. I loved her so much. If only I had landed sooner, caught up to her faster…_

The baby began to cry and Obi-Wan pulled himself together. Maul appeared as well, his worry loud in the Force. He put his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and the Jedi shuddered.  _ Thank the Force he is here. _

“I’m sorry,” Beru said softly. “I didn't mean to open any old wounds.”

“No,” Obi-Wan said, touching her shoulder. “Every person who knew Padme loved her. We all grieve. I am so glad you got to know her. That you can tell Luke about her.”

Owen came up too, wiping his hands off on a rag he stuck in his belt. Seeing Luke crying he held his hands out to Beru. She passed him the baby and Owen made faces and sang little songs until the baby laughed. The suns finally went down and they all went down into the dome for dinner.

\-----

Going back to their own dome made them realize how far they had to go to make it comfortable.  _ The least we can do is fix the holes to make it less drafty,  _ Obi-Wan thought.

Twice Maul crawled into Obi-Wan’s bed, without a word, simply inserting himself against the wall as they had the first night. He usually left after a bit but those few hours gave Obi-Wan welcome respite from the cold and from his own bad dreams. 

The third time Obi-wan sat up as Maul was leaving. 

“Wait!” He said, reaching out. There was barely any light in the room. Obi-Wan had closed the shutters. 

“Please stay,” Obi-Wan asked. “Please. I sleep so well- and you’re so warm and-“ he trailed off, embarrassed and unhappy. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to do anything of the kind. I-”

“Alright,” Maul said softly and climbed back in. Obi-Wan fussed over the blankets and cloaks that covered them - mostly to buy himself time to think. 

“Why did you want to leave?” He asked. It was the best he could come up with. “I don’t want you to stay if it’s difficult.”

It helped that he had his back to Maul. Just voices in the dark. 

“I thought you wanted me to go,” Maul said. “Or rather, I did not know you wanted me to stay.”

“I want it,”  Obi-Wan said quickly. “If it’s alright with you.”

“I’d like to stay,” Maul said after a moment. 

“Good.”

They lay quietly for a time. Obi-Wan warmed up and began to doze. Maul’s arm around his waist was comforting. His breathing was slowing as well. Then, just as he was drifting off, Obi-Wan heard it: a faint chuffing purr, barely audible, coming from his companion. 

His surprise must have been clear in the Force. The sound cut off and Maul coughed, clearing his throat - embarrassed. 

“I’m sorry,” Maul mumbled. “I didn’t know I could still do that. I’ll stop.”

“It’s good,” Obi-Wan whispered. “I like it. A good sound.” He didn't know what else to say. “Really.”

It was quiet a moment and then, just when Obi-Wan stopped listening for it, it came again. A little louder than the first time, Maul was purring. 

 

\-----

 

They visited the Lars twice more before the season of winds. It was inevitably the highlight of their cycle. The Lars homestead was clean and warm. There was fresh milk and cheese made by Beru’s own hands. The two men ate everything Beru could put in front of them. She seemed to love having their feet under her table, and was always trying new things. Owen never said much, and still regarded Obi-Wan with barely contained suspicion, but ever since the vaporator repair he and Maul got along very well, spending time tinkering in Owen’s shop. But the highlight, aside from the food, was Luke.

To Obi-Wan’s intense surprise and annoyance Maul was good with the baby, not afraid to hold him or feed him or bounce him up and down. Obi-Wan was awkward and nervous, too caught up in memories of Anakin. Jedi children were raised by the crèche masters- a duty Obi-Wan had never been drawn to. 

“Here give him to me,” Maul’s exasperation was obvious and he took the crying baby away from where the Jedi was trying to hold him. 

“I don’t know why you’re so nervous?” Beru said, fussing at the stove. Obi-Wan tried to hide his own annoyance. 

“Where in the seven blazes did you learn about children?” he snapped.  _ You were a Sith Lord. A Sith Lord and now you can dandle a baby on your knee and eat cheese like its nothing? _

“Luke is my nephew,” Maul said simply, chin in the air. “I don’t need to  _ learn about children _ , as you say, to hold my own nephew.”

Luke laughed and grabbed at Maul’s horns. Maul let him pull his head around, pretending his horns were a steering yoke for a ship, complete with engine noises.

Beru laughed.

“I love that you call him that,” she said quietly to Maul. “Your  _ nephew _ . I love it so.”

“It is true isn’t it?” Maul asked. His sense of himself as part of a family was still a fragile thing, something he wanted as badly as he feared. Beru understood that and Obi-Wan loved her for it. 

“It’s true,” she said firmly. An idea seemed to occur to her. “Does that make you my brother then?” She meant it jokingly but Maul gaped at her. His face slowly lit up and Obi-Wan felt his own heart shift at the excitement there. Maul looked away, confused and embarrassed. 

“I would like that,” he mumbled, focusing on Luke and unable to meet Beru’s eye. 

Beru’s delighted laughter lit up the room, making Luke squeal happily.

“I have five  sisters,” she said. “I always wanted a brother!”

She leaned over and kissed Maul on the cheek. He startled, blinking in confusion, which made Obi-Wan laugh. Luke caught the mood and pulled Maul’s horns, laughing and making kissing sounds.

\---

That evening, Obi-Wan noticed Maul touching the place where Beru had kissed him. They did their chores, settling their little homestead down for the night but Maul was lost in thought. 

“He kissed me three times,” he said suddenly. They were sitting by the stairs as they did every night, looking up at the stars before bed.

“Saxon?”

“Yes. At first I didn’t know what it was but then he showed me. But I was too lost in…” He didn’t say it. His dead brother, the ashes of everything he had built… He sighed. 

“The last time, we were in hyperspace, going to Mandalore. I was…”

He shrugged, shifting his shoulders, embarrassed. 

“I was raving about retaking mandalore. My mind… my mind was not whole,” he said.

Obi-wan nodded in recognition- images of talking to himself, crying and shaking as he chased Anakin to Mustafar rose in his mind. He shook them off, focusing on Maul. 

“Saxon stopped my pacing. And he squeezed my body- like this.” Maul wrapped his arms tightly across his chest. 

“It quieted me,” Maul continued. “Then he kissed me. And I didn’t know what to do! But I kissed him back. I tried my best… but it wasn’t- It wasn’t very good.” 

_ I doubt he cared Obi-Wan thought. I will never think about Gar Saxon the same way.  _

“Then we dropped out of hyperspace.” Maul let his arms fall. “That lurch, you know. And then everyone came in and there was so much to do. I saw him across the bay. He looked at me and nodded. He pulled his helmet on… then he was gone.” Maul shook his head. “I didn’t know. How was I supposed to know what to do? I had no training, no...”

“If it’s any consolation I had no idea either,” Obi-Wan said. Maul looked at him. “Thank the Force that Satine  knew what she was doing. I made an awful mess of things the first few times- didn't know where to put my nose, or what to do with my hands- I have not felt so ignorant since I was a child. I thought it would be better with Cody- but it wasn’t! I felt like a fool.”

“Yes!” Maul said, turning, his face lit with recognition. “I am good at  _ everything _ I do. I am the finest Juyo Master in three thousand years!” He began to pace and Obi-Wan covered his laugh with a cough. Maul heard him and threw himself down beside Obi-Wan with a sigh.

“I think I poked his eye with a horn,” he muttered. Obi-Wan burst out laughing, unable to stop even when Maul shoved him over. 

\---

_ Talking about kissing was a mistake _ Obi-Wan thought the next morning. He scrubbed his face and neck with a wet rag, trying to shake off the dreams where Cody had turned into Maul as they made frantic love in the supply compartment of their ship. How will I even look him in the face? Obi-Wan had woken up with a wide wet spot on his blanket and the worst erection he could remember- the first since coming to Tatooine. Stroking himself to completion hadn’t helped, since at the final moment, with Cody’s name on his lips, he had thought of Maul’s eyes…

“Damn it all!” he cursed, flinging the rag down. “How am I supposed to function like this?!” 

“Like what?” Maul asked from the steps outside. He was carrying an armful of parts for their next trading trip. He frowned at the Jedi, taking in Obi-Wan’s disheveled state, the pile of blankets thrown on the floor and Obi-Wan’s blushing face. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, his eyes darting around. Obi-Wan nodded, clearing his throat. He wiped down his face one last time and pulled on a shirt. 

“I’m fine. I had bad dreams,” he muttered.    
“I thought so,” Maul said sagely. “I heard you cry out this morning. I was going to come and check on you but then you quieted.”

Obi-Wan’s unhelpful mind provided the image of Maul stepping into the room just as Obi-Wan arched off the bed, covering his face and chest with his own spend, moaning Maul’s name.  _ I would have died and joined the Force. Plain and simple. Poof! Just like that. _

“I’m fine,” he repeated. Maul was frowning at him. 

“You seem feverish,” he said. “Are you sure you aren’t becoming ill?”

“Force!” Obi-Wan exclaimed. He laughed, covering his face with his hands.

“You are behaving very strangely,” Maul said, shrugging his shoulders and moving on with his task. 

\----

Something was wrong with his Jedi. Kenobi flushed in embarrassment, unable to meet Maul’s eye. He was restless, frustrated, confused and something else Maul didn't quite recognize. He was sure that with a little diligence he would figure it out however. He just needed to return to his earlier routine of watching the Jedi and listening to him carefully, in the Force as well as in their day to day. He made a mental note to talk more, and see if anything made Kenobi react. 

 

The next night, Obi-Wan couldn't sleep. With a sigh he pushed the blanket down and ran a hand down his belly to his cock. He found he liked stroking himself in the cold air- it made his skin tighten, and his hands felt more like a lover’s. He thought of Cody, their last time together had been on the ship to Atapua.

“The only benefit to being out of supplies,” Cody had said, “is that the supply room is empty.”  He pushed open the door revealing a small room no more than a few meters square, but there was a big pile of blankets on one side.  “The Vods been using it but I claimed an hour for us.”

It wasn’t fancy; it wasn’t a bed. Not that Cody and Obi-Wan had ever had something so luxurious as an actual bed for their trysts. But it was private, which in wartime was its own luxury. With the door locked he and Cody used their hour well, relishing the chance to get completely naked and fully indulge in each other’s bodies. 

Now Obi-wan stroked himself remembering. Saliva was not as good of a lubricant as the krell nut oil Cody had but it was enough. Obi-Wan pulled himself in delicate strokes, trying to make it last. His other hand alternated between tugging his nipples and reaching down to stroke his opening. He couldn’t reach properly but it was enough to push at his perineum, and tug his scrotum while his left hand stroked root to tip. 

Obi-Wan squeezed the head of his cock, bucking up into his fist. Cody has taken him hard in the end, the way Obi-Wan liked it, grinding into him, making him beg for it. 

“Oh Force yes, fuck me, harder,” Obi-Wan muttered. He pictured Cody’s full lips wrapped around his cock and the happy little moans he made when he swallowed his general down. Cody was loud in bed, a talker. It was something Obi-wan loved. 

“Beautiful, beautiful, I love fucking you, could fuck you for days-” Obi-Wan gasped, twisting his wrist. He lifted his knees up and apart to reach his hole, stroking it frantic circles. Maybe Maul could get some oil?

Maul. Maul with his big hands and golden eyes. His shy smile and strong shoulders. 

“Oh Force, Maul-“ Obi- Wan was lost. Cody suddenly became Maul in his mind, helpless to stop it. He imaged how Maul would look having an an orgasm and that was all it took. Obi-Wan arched off the bed and came, stuttering out Maul’s name, spraying himself with rope after rope of come. He collapsed with a curse. 

“Not again…”

\----

Maul pushed himself off the wall by Obi-Wan’s window and slipped down to his workshop. He made his way to his bed, tucked between the speeder and the wall. He barely breathed. The small window that faced the courtyard gave enough light for Maul to see his shaking hands as he pulled off his clothes. He paused, staring down at himself. He was harder than he had been since he was a boy when Sidious had bluntly informed him that if he couldn't shield his thoughts better when he masturbated that he would throw Maul into Mustafar’s lava river. 

Slowly Maul dragged a hand over his chest. Obi-Wan’s thoughts had been unshielded at the end, and images of himself as Kenobi saw him- his chest, his shoulders-. He ran both hands down his belly, tracing the lines over his hips. Kenobi liked them? Maul had never once considered himself that way. Even with Saxon… Gar’s professions of love and devotion, his lust for Maul’s body- none of that had been real at the time- just background noise. 

He didn't touch his cock, knew he would explode if he did. Instead he touched everything else, his arms, his neck, tracing light fingers over everything Kenobi had broadcast so desperately.

He was shivering, the servos in his knees and thighs whirring to compensate. They sounded loud in the darkness, even with Maul’s ragged breathing. He lay down without thought, his habit of secrecy too strong. He lay as Kenobi had been, barely ghosting his fingers over his erection, tracing the thick curved ridge underneath. He pulled his nipples as Obi-Wan had done, mouth open at the shock of sensation that arched his back when he did. Maul had not given a thought to his own body in years- decades? Treating it like a vehicle, a badly functioning one at that. But now he felt alive, burning in the Force- every part of him exalting in his own pleasure. 

He couldn't stand it anymore. He bit his blanket to muffle the sound and took himself in hand, rolling onto his stomach to slam his cock into both fists hard. His knot bulged and he squeezed it ruthlessly, smacking his hips against the bed,  _ fucking him, fucking you. Obi-Wan- fuck.  _ The word, which he had never thought of beyond cursing, suddenly felt real in his mind. Kenobi, legs wide, pale belly, open mouth, and Maul was fucking him  _ fuck him - let him fuck me too open me, open him  _ he didn't even track who was doing the fucking. He wanted it all, his body flaring to life, greedy for the orgasm that swept over him, through him, tearing hoarse screams into the wool in his mouth.

He came up to his knees, horns digging into the old mattress. He squeezed his knot in both hands, wringing it painfully as he poured his come onto the bed.  _ Obi-Wan Obi-Wan Force yes. You. Of course you.  _ It went on and on and Maul distantly realized he was weeping, had torn all the way through his blanket with his teeth, ripped the mattress with his thrashing horns. He fell forward, open mouthed, his body shuddering. When had he last come like this?  _ Never. Obi-WAn, oh Force, Obi-Wan... _


	9. The Last Full Measure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Finally the smut!   
> Sorry this took so long!!!  
> THis is a long ass chapter. And it is proof that Perfect can get in the way of good. So this is good. And I surrender to the gods of perfect, admitting defeat.

They avoided each other. They avoided each other and they hated themselves for it. 

Obi-Wan missed his sleeping companion. But the idea of Maul being in the room if Obi-wan had another dream was intolerable. It was bad enough when they trained and Obi-Wan could scarcely meet Maul’s eye. 

_ I am the last living Jedi! I must live up to the code. I must! Attachments are forbidden… But Maul, Maul… my shadow, my friend… _

Maul seemed to withdraw into a world of his own also. Perhaps the former Sith was in a different stage of grief or simply needed the space, but he spent much of his time either holed up in his workshop or training, sometimes until he shook with exhaustion. It frightened Obi-Wan to see how intensely Maul worked himself. It was a kind of punishment and the sense of self-loathing mirrored his own. 

Even when Maul had a new project they barely spoke.

“We need a bantha,” Maul said. Obi-Wan looked up from his writing. 

“Where would we put a bantha?”

“It isn’t furniture, Kenobi, one does not  _ put _ a bantha anywhere. She would live with her herd in the stones.”

“She?”

There was a moment of awkward silence. 

“Kenobi,” Maul said dryly. “As amusing as it would be to watch you attempt to milk a Bantha bull, it would not further our needs.”

Obi-Wan slowly lowered his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Maul lasted only a moment longer before giving in, dropping into a chair and laughing hard enough to hurt. 

When Kenobi looked up Maul made the human gesture for male masturbation and they both howled, Obi-Wan waving at Maul to stop and burying his face in his shirt. It felt good, the first time they had laughed together in weeks. But it didn't last. Obi-Wan suddenly remembered  _ why _ he couldn't meet Maul’s eye. His laughter choked off as if it had never been. They sat in silence a moment, each lost in thought, before separating to their respective quarters.

  
In the end the Bantha question was easy. Obi-Wan and Maul had both made allies among the Stone People, and it turned out to be a straight forward exchange- a Bantha cow, and the calf she was already carrying, in exchange for two lots of parts that Maul listed off. The cow, marked with a series of notches in her right horn, would live with her herd. She was milked twice a day by Tusken boy who brought them the milk in a skin bag over his shoulder. In exchange Obi-Wan taught the boy Basic. 

“When she has her calf I will sell it and build another vaporator,” Maul said. “We need more water.” Maul seemed pleased with his scheme. “You are no longer as thin as you were,” he said. Obi-Wan raised a brow at him. Maul hung his head and shuffled his feet.   
“I look, when we train,” he mumbled. “Your ribs are not showing any more. I am pleased.”

“And you have filled out as well,” Obi-Wan said. He could feel himself blushing. “Your plan with the Bantha was a good one.” 

Again the conversation felt good, but again it strayed too close to the source of Obi-Wan’s confusion and so drove the wedge between them further. Because it was true; Maul had filled out. His shoulders were broad, tapering down to a narrow waist. It wasn’t the body of a boy, Maul was thicker in the middle- the muscles of his belly hard and strong. Obi-Wan tried not to stare. He really did. But Maul’s back, his neck, the back of his head, were beginning to obsess the former Jedi. When Maul ran a hand over the back of his smooth skull, tugging on his dorsal horn- as he did when thinking- something in Obi-Wan’s navel coiled tight and needful. 

_ There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no passion, there is serenity.  _ No matter how many times he repeated it to himself it wasn’t working.  _ I broke the code twice already, and both times it brought me to the Dark Side. I may be the last of my order. If I cannot keep the code, even now- am I even a Jedi? And if I am not- what will Luke become? _

So Obi-Wan took to spending time visiting their bantha- which Maul had named Tata- Mando’a for auntie. It suited her. 

“Tata Bantha,” Obi-Wan said, stroking her dusty face. He liked to visit her. The Bantha were a prey species so they served as a kind of bio-feedback tool. To approach them you had to be calm, peaceful. Obi-Wan had needed it lately. 

“Why is he troubling me so, Tata?” He murmured, brushing the hair on her face. She snuffled his cloak but didn’t answer. 

“I miss him,” he admitted. “We were becoming very close and now, because I can’t even discipline my own mind, I can hardly stand to look at him.”

He was shocked to realize that he was close to tears. 

“I miss him so much,” he said again. “I wish I knew how to repair this silence between us.”  
  
\--

Maul slunk away, carrying the empty milk skin to the Tusken village, pondering what he had heard.  _ Kenobi misses me. But I have not gone anywhere. What does he mean? _

He sighed and rubbed his face. As if he didn’t know. He had stopped his little Kenobi management tricks the first night he masturbated to Kenobi’s thoughts. He had not touched the Jedi or told him a story or any of the little things from his routine since that night. He watched Kenobi when he thought the Jedi wasn’t looking, and found himself obsessing about ridiculous details of Obi-Wan’s body and face. When Obi-Wan was sweating during their training his hair curled and plastered to his head. The curls revealed a pale sliver of skin at his hairline, places where the suns hadn’t reached. His chest and belly were pale still, and the freckles scattered across his shoulders made Maul’s mouth dry with want. So he avoided him as much as possible, walking away from their trainings with no more than a nod.

_ I am failing in my care for him,  _ he chided himself.  _ But I can’t even meet his eye! If he knew what I thought about... I am out of the practice of shielding my thoughts from him. What if he saw? _

Maul had been touching himself every night, and sometimes during the day too. It was ridiculous.  

_ Not since I was sixteen and lusting after that girl in Jedhha, the one who made the bread, have I wasted so much time wavni mek am’chek! _

But now Kenobi needed him. And, late at night when it was cold and he flailed awake from some terrible nightmare, he admitted he needed Kenobi as well. He was lonely. That night he woke up and made it as far as the stairs before turning back. The situation simply wasn’t sustainable.

 

\--

“The situation between us isn’t sustainable,” Maul said the next morning, as they were stretching before their training. 

“What situation?” Obi-Wan asked, his heart sinking. Maul gestured, repeating the little flick of the fingers that spoke to the Force between them. 

“We no longer have this… whatever it was. We are barely speaking. We avoid each other. We have even failed to check on our nephew this cycle.”

Each accusation was like a blow and Obi-Wan’s body shuddered. He nodded, miserable. 

“It’s my fault.” They both said it at the same time then shared identical looks of surprise. 

“No,” Obi-Wan said just as Maul said “it’s me.”

Maul held up his hands, the familiar faint smile at the corners of his mouth. 

“Let me speak first, if I may, Kenobi,” he said. He cleared his throat and picked up a small stone, turning it in his hands as he spoke, choosing his words. 

“I betrayed your trust,” he began. “I didn’t know how to care for you so I observed you, to learn.” Obi-Wan arched a brow at him, his face clearly confused. 

“You know I learned how to touch you, and make you laugh, and when you needed more water, and that you slept better if I told you stories. I watched you more closely than I have any target. So when you began to behave strangely last cycle I resumed my observations.”

Obi-Wan felt a dawning horror as he understood where this was going.  _ Oh no. Oh no he saw me. Oh please let there be an earthquake, a raid, anything… _

“So I heard you call my name when you masturbated,” Maul said, plain spoken and direct as always. Obi-Wan’s spirit tried to leave his body.

“Maul,” Obi-Wan started but he couldn’t finish the thought. His face felt stiff and unrecognizable. They were outdoors, but somehow there wasn’t enough air to breath, or light to see. Obi-Wan jumped to his feet, took two stumbling steps, and fled.

He heard Maul call after him, heard the sound of Maul’s durasteel legs on the stairs behind him. Without looking he shoved back with the Force and Maul fell, cursing while Obi-Wan cut ahead, sprinting away towards the canyons behind their dome.

The fall caught one of his legs under him and he heard the snap of the tension coil behind his knee. Everything from the knee to ankle went dead. Maul got up again but fell almost immediately.  _ Damn it all. I’ll need the bike.  _

He tried to use the lifeless limb but nothing would keep the knee locked. It swung free and folded under him with the slightest weight. Maul cursed and hopped to his workshop. He would have to wait for Obi-Wan.  _ He will have to return. won’t he?  _

In his workshop he hesitated. Fix the leg or get the bike working to chase after his friend? He looked down at the leg and snarled. The leg. Obi-Wan would be back. Grabbing a piece of scrap steel off his bench and some binder he made a kind of split for the leg, enough to hold it stiff so he could hobble. 

The holo crackled to life, pinging at him and he tapped the receiver without thought, looking for his spanner. 

 

**_It’s owen---- not sure can copy---- big sandstorm —- coming —- east—- hunker down_ **

 

Maul stares at the comm, appalled. Of all the timing… he tapped out “received thanks” 

And turned to the bike.    
  


Obi- Wan slowed his headlong flight to a walk, trying to pull himself together. He wanted to be calm. Calm and maybe sit with Tata-bantha until he could compose himself enough to go back. Once he was calm. Running had been a knee-jerk reaction, unbecoming of him as a Jedi Master, and unworthy of he and Maul’s friendship. _ I worry about the Code, as though it matters. There are no more Jedi. Non-attachment saved no one. And Code or no Code, I owe Maul an explanation. He has saved my life so many times since we’ve been here.  _

He would admit it all to Maul. He would not hide anymore. Once he had a chance to calm down he would go back. He would...

He rounded the curve to their usual grazing spot and stopped. The bantha herd were nowhere to be seen. The Tuskens were nowhere to be seen. The canyon was quiet, holding its breath. Obi-Wan’s senses reached out.  _ Worry, expectation, hiding. _

He looked up but there was only a strip of sky above- nothing seemed odd there. But the hush was absolute and the sense of waiting of something coming…

He looked at the ground and saw the tracks - the herders had come and moved the bantha. Moved them where? And why?

He went deeper into the canyon, puzzled. Then he heard it. A growing hiss, and a hollow moaning. The wind. He looked up again and, to his dismay, the strip of white sky was turning a sickly brown, swirls of sand rising and falling- curling around themselves as the wind strengthened. The air pressure fluctuated, popping Obi-Wan’s eardrums. 

_ Sahel - Oh you bloody fool. This canyon will be scoured clean. It’s a direct funnel. You’ll be blown to Anchorhead, buried alive in a new dune more like it _ . He heard the roar increase and felt the first tugs, his robe jerked and flapped behind him, trying to get away. 

Frantically he turned in place, trying to find cover. There! Up there was the cave the herders used. The boys had taken the ladder but maybe… He jumped for it,  but fell short. Another gust snapped around the corner and slapped him against the ground. He bit his tongue and cursed, spitting out blood and clambering up again.  _ I must get up there. I must!  _

He tried again, calling on the Force and was able to grab the ledge.  _ Yes. Good. I can- _

Another gust and he was flung over again, managing to land on his feet but not by much. The roar of the storm was building. The sky above the canyon walls was a roiling cauldron of sand and dust, great curls lifting and collapsing as the pressure built. 

_ One more time.  _ Obi-Wan thought and focused, dropping deep into the Force - pushing away all his fear and doubt.  _ I wish Maul was here _ . The thought threw him off, destroyed his concentration and he stumbled. The roar spiked, a bellowing shout from around the bend in the arroyo and Obi-Wan ducked down. 

But it was Maul - Maul on the half built speeder,Maul shouting and waving at him - he was a blaze of gold in the Force - urgency pushing him. 

There was no masking the intensity of the relief Obi-Wan felt. He leaped for the shelter and made the ledge, waving Maul up. On the speeder it was nothing - Maul leapt and somersaulted in the air, landing with a curse, falling against Obi-Wan. The bike fell back and crashed below, the sound of it lost as the first real blast of air and sand came down the canyon. 

Obi-Wan dragged Maul into the cave, laughing hysterically. The Tusken boys had left a short wall of stones as a wind block but they quickly saw it was insufficient for what was coming. The sound of the wind rose in pitch and larger and larger gusts were slapping down the canyon, sending billows of sand and stones flying. 

Maul and Obi-Wan worked in tandem, lifting the stones with the Force and placing them in the entrance to the cave. Maul shook his head. Cave was a strong over-statement. The space would fit a couple of herder boys with plenty of room, but for two grown men it was a squeeze. They made it work, Maul dragging his useless leg in and settling back against the side of the little space as Obi-Wan placed the last stone. 

“Damn it Obi-Wan! Why did you run away?” Maul shouted over the growing wind. It was dark in the cave. He could make out the Jedi’s face  but barely. 

“Why did you come after me?” Obi-Wan shouted back. “I’d have more room in here and you’d be snug in the dome!”

“You have no right to risk yourself like this!”

“As if I knew there was a Sahel coming!”

Their argument was only half hearted but they were shouting louder and louder to overcome the sound of the wind. After a moment  it became ridiculous and Obi-Wan waved Maul off.  _ Later. We can fight later.  _

Maul reached over and squeezed Obi-Wan’s shoulder.  _ Yes, later. I still have things to shout at you. _

As the volume of wind picked up, and the stones they had placed in the cave rattled, Maul shivered. He had never feared death, and even pain was not something he allowed himself to fear. But now, wondering what would happen to Obi-Wan if he died - he felt a growing dread. And what would happen to Luke?  _ We must survive this. We must.  _ In his anxiety  he pushed himself close against Obi-Wan’s back, wrapping his arms tight around his chest. He felt Obi-Wan’s surprise warring with gratitude, and the same thread of determination that Maul felt.  _  We must survive this. We must. _

But fear, even terror, can become monotonous when it goes on and on, unchanging, for hours. Fear is not a sustainable emotion. Soon enough Maul found himself dozing, wrapped tight around Obi-Wan. 

He was woken by Obi-Wan’s shaking shoulders. The former Jedi was weeping, hiccuping sobs that jostled Maul’s head where it lay between Obi-Wan’s shoulder blades. 

Maul didn’t try speaking.He couldn’t even hear his own voice over the all-pervading roar of the wind. He squeezed Obi-Wan harder and began to rock him. That didn’t seem to help. Maul brought his hand up and wiped away the muddy tears, running his hands over Obi-Wan’s face as best he could in the dark. It calmed him  but he was shaking his head. In the Force, he was pure negation, miserable and filled with self loathing. Maul had no idea what to do. 

So he kissed him. It was hesitant, and maybe had too many teeth - Maul wasn’t sure. But the back of Obi-Wan’s neck was salty and Maul chased the taste with open mouth and scraping teeth, relishing the grit under his tongue. 

Obi-Wan was still as stone, barely even breathing. Maul’s mouth on his neck forcibly ejected all concerns about the Code from Obi-Wan’s mind. What he had considered earlier, that the Code had not saved a single of his brothers and sisters, that he would be honest with Maul, took on a new meaning.

Obi-Wan had been staying out of the Force, but now he felt Maul, trying to reach him. Maul was dark as usual, determination and raw will. Anger and fear were there, but not for himself. Through all the darkness there was a thread of gold, which called to Obi-Wan. It was the shorthand between them - the shared sense they had of each other. But it had changed. 

Maul opened his mind and Obi-Wan saw himself, saw the way Maul thought about him, fantasized about him,  _ lusted  _ after him. As loud and powerful as the storm outside. 

He felt Maul nodding against his back. Maul’s arms came around him again, patted his heart, squeezed him, patted over his heart again. He fumbled down Obi-Wan’s arm to his hand and turned to place it on his own hearts. Held it there. 

Obi-Wan couldn’t see. But he could feel the warmth, the care, the  _ maybe even love? Is that what that is? He may not even know. But it feels like it. Oh Force. He wants me. He wants me. Oh thank the Force. No more hiding.  _

They leaned forward at the same time, bumping heads and drawing back only to bump again. Obi-Wan felt Maul’s chest shake as he laughed. The four-part beat of his hearts was racing under Obi-Wan’s palm. 

Obi-Wan leaned in again, more slowly this time, until he found Maul’s face. He nudged him into a better angle, as hard as that was with them twisting sideways, and kissed him on the lips. It was a small kiss, a light press of chapped lips. But the relief that surged between them both in the Force was almost paralyzing. They sagged together, foreheads pressed, lips barely touching. Maul was forcibly reminded of surviving long and dangerous missions, stepping back into Scimitar, safe, home, relief. Obi-Wan’s thoughts were similar, an effusion of gratitude that lifted all the gloom of the previous weeks. 

Now Maul kissed him, tentative but smiling against Obi-Wan’s mouth. His tongue touched Obi-Wan’s upper lip, just at it peak. Obi-Wan laughed, pure joy in the Force and kissed back, another light touch, and another, a swipe of his tongue over Maul’s lower lip, smiling, feeling Maul laugh, another swipe, this time taking Maul’s lower lip in his mouth. They went back and forth. They shifted position, trying to face each other properly. Obi-Wan ended up half in Maul’s lap, looking up at his friend in the gloom. He caught occasional glimpses of a shine on Maul’s eyes but otherwise nothing. His sense of touch was sharpening. The heat from Maul’s body the shape of his arms under Obi-Wan’s back, his breath, all of these spoke to Obi-Wan in place of his eyes. 

And then the Force. There Maul was so uncertain, even frightened. He was the opposite of his usual self. It made Obi-Wan calmer somehow, seeing his confident, strong-willed friend so unsure of himself. 

Obi-Wan reached up and touched both sides of Maul’s face. 

Maul bent and kissed him slowly this time, pressing his lips more urgently, lapping at Obi-Wan’s mouth until it opened. They licked into each other, their tongues touching and sliding, uncertain and polite at first. But then Obi-Wan felt the sharp point of Maul’s canine tooth drag over the flat of his tongue and he shuddered. He opened his mouth and reached up to grab Maul’s horns, pulling him down and kissing hard, nipping at Maul’s lip. 

They shifted again. It was impossible to get close enough in their tiny space. Obi-Wan smacked his head against the stones as he tried to turn around. Maul’s leg was stuck out straight, and couldn’t shift either. They couldn’t stop kissing long enough for Maul to explain it, he just shook his head when Obi-Wan patted the limb. 

They ended up with Maul seated, Obi-Wan straddling his lap. Maul’s arms were all the way around him, his hands under Obi-Wan’s shirt, stroking his sweaty back. It felt like heaven and Obi-Wan couldn’t stop moaning, grateful the sound was lost in the wind. 

There was no hiding the urgency in this position, their erections were grinding against each other as they kissed and touched and licked and touched some more. Obi-Wan couldn’t stop touching Maul’s horns, thrilled at how Maul’s hips would buck when he squeezed the bases. Obi-Wan spanned them with his hands, pushing them between his fingers. They were smooth but heavily grooved. The bases were sensitive and stroking the two by Maul’s ears made him gasp, open mouthed against Obi-Wan’s skin. 

Maul pulled at Obi-Wan’s shirt, desperate for more skin. They stopped kissing long enough to push them off, rubbing their chests together. Obi-Wan winced at the grit from the sand but he didn’t care. 

Maul’s hands roamed all over Obi-wan’s body. He couldn’t seem to decide whether to squeeze and knead Obi-Wan’s muscles or simply skim his hands over his skin, spreading goosebumps wherever his fingers trailed. 

Obi-Wan mouthed Maul’s jaw and down his shoulder to lap at his clavicles, rooting his face into the base of Maul’s neck. But when he licked a long streak up Maul’s throat he was shoved back. Maul put Obi-Wan’s hand to his face and shook his head.  _ Not the throat. Alright.  _

He pulled Maul’s face forward against his own throat and tilted his head back and to the side. Maul’s reaction was immediate - he bit down, his jaw squeezing just hard enough to grip before licking at Obi-Wan’s neck. His fingers tangled in Obi-Wan’s hair, scratching dull nails at the grit there and tugging. His mouth felt searing hot against Obi-Wan’s skin. 

Obi-Wan leaned back a moment to catch his breath, patting Maul’s shoulders.  _ Enough of this I want to touch him.  _

He ran a hand slowly down the barrel of Maul’s belly and paused just above his groin. Maul grabbed his wrist and pushed him down the last inch. A definitive yes. 

_ He wants this, oh Force. I want him so badly.  _

Buckles and buttons and canted hips and another bump against the ceiling and their trousers were open. Maul’s fingers touched Obi-Wan’s cock delicately, tracing a slow reverent line from head to base, thumb trailing in the slippery precome. Obi-Wan had to torque his entire body to keep from coming, smacking his arm against the wall. The agonizing jolt to the nerve in his elbow cleared his head. He felt for Maul and groaned as his hand closed around Maul’s cock.  _ What- oh Force it’s different when it’s hard.  _ Obi-Wan vaguely remembered tending Maul’s wounds when all this began. He had been exhausted and traumatized and anyway nothing had struck him as particularly noteworthy. But in his hands it was curved and thick with a pronounced ridge running top to bottom. He was dripping everywhere, a mess of slick that Obi-Wan’s fingers traced to a wide slit, almost wide enough to fit the tip of his pinky. 

_ Big, oh god, is that a knot? I think it is - like a Nautalon. And wet!  _ He brought his fingers to his mouth and tasted the viscous slick that even now was bubbling out over his other hand. 

_ Salty. Bitter. Not so different.  _

They were squirming against each other, trying to get what friction they could. Maul leaned in and kissed Obi-Wan again rough and desperate. His need was loud in the force. Obi-Wan shook himself and grabbed their cocks in his hands, jerking them together, against each other, sliding up and down and back and forth. The slippery mud and slick were sending jolts of pleasure through Obi- Wan. Maul stopped thrashing and began to thrust, his hands back in Obi-Wan’s hair. His mouth was open and Obi-Wan could feel his panting breath. 

_ I wish I could see him _ . He focused all his attention into the Force, and pushed their bodies more tightly together. If he couldn’t see or hear, then he was going to feel it: heated skin, panting breath, the smell of sweat. The edges of Maul’s cybernetics under Obi-Wan’s thighs. All sensations looming large in the absence of sound, of sight. Maul understood and wrapped one arm tight around Obi-Wan’s shoulders, even as he laid his other against Obi-Wan’s face. They found their rhythm and rolled their hips, thrusting up into Obi-Wan’s joined hands.

Their pace slowed. They were exactly where they needed, concentrating on the sliding push and pull. Obi-Wan rubbed over their leaking heads with his thumbs, squeezing and twisting his wrist. The dust was making the slick in his hands muddy, but neither cared. In the Force they were wide open, close to coming. The pleasure poured back and forth between them, building like a wave. 

Maul’s face fell against Obi-Wan’s shoulder and he bit down hard, mouthing helplessly. Obi-Wan felt the shuddering of Maul’s body and the throbbing of the heated shaft in his hands. It was enough for Obi-Wan to come too, snapping his hips against Maul’s, a cry of pleasure twisting his neck on his shoulders. 

Maul’s hand grabbed Obi-Wan’s wrist and pushed it down. His knot - it was jerking and throbbing and Obi-Wan squeezed it instinctively. Maul was nodding helplessly and so Obi-Wan did it again, bearing down with his swordsman’s hands to wring Maul’s knot. He felt the spray against his shirt, up to his chin, over his hand, on his neck, more and more and more. He thought he heard Maul shouting over the sound of the wind. 

They collapsed against each other, heedless of the mess, heads on each other’s shoulders and arms holding tight. For a moment Obi-Wan shivered, his spirit drained and happy. They shifted again, so Obi-Wan wasn’t sitting on Maul’s stumps, but curled between them. Arranged as comfortably as they could be, they fell asleep. 

It was a full day before the wind died enough that they could clamber out of their little cave and stagger home. They didn’t speak, leaning against each other, arms around each other’s shoulders. Obi-Wan’s ears were ringing and he was still dazed, happy but dazed.

Obi-Wan stopped at the cistern. He and Maul looked at each other. They were covered in mud and sand. Neither were even remotely recognizable.

Obi-Wan leaned over and pulled back the lid that led into the cistern. It was a black opening, about a meter across that led down to the water. The cistern was full.

Obi-Wan pulled off his clothes there and then and lowered himself into the water. It reached his chest, but he immediately ducked down. Maul gaped at him, trying to decide between outrage and glee. A cloud of dirt bloomed out off of Obi-Wan before his head emerged again.

_ Kriff it - The sand will settle. I’ll dredge it myself if I have to. The sanitation system will hold. _

So Maul also stripped off his clothes. After a moment of indecision, he also pulled off the broken cybernetic. The other could survive a short dunking. He lowered himself into the water beside Obi-Wan and let himself submerge. 

Another small space, but this time they could hear and see through the round door. Maul couldn’t stop touching Obi-Wan, rubbing their bodies together until he was painfully hard again. 

“I want you,” Obi-Wan said. “Force, I want you.”

“Let’s see if the house is buried,” Maul agreed, and they clambered out. They carried their clothes and Maul’s leg, Maul’s arm over Obi-Wan’s shoulders so he could hop up. 

Standing in the doorway to Obi-Wan’s room, they laughed until they had to lean on the doorframe. The sand dune that Obi-Wan talked to in the mornings before sweeping it out the door was over a meter tall and had managed to cover half the room. One bedpost was the only thing emerging from its perfect sides. 

“Downstairs then…” 

 

\---

 

The oil was rendered from Bantha fat - the Tuskens used it to start fires and to cook and to rub in their skin. Maul had traded for some long since. It smelled like Bantha and the crushed herbs the Tusken women used to protect their skin. He rubbed it around his horns and into the skin by his cybernetic legs where the sand sometimes chafed the scar tissue.  _ I didn’t think of it for this,  _ he thought.  _ Oh Force, I didn't think of it for any of this. _

Two fingers was as far as Maul had ever gotten. This kind of  _ fucking _ , with another male, was something he had heard of. He wasn’t  _ ignorant _ . Or so he told himself. But his own explorations since seeing it in Kenobi’s mind had been limited, uncertain.

But now, now he made breathless gasping moans, writhing in ecstasy as Kenobi’s fingers stroked and pushed and  _ opened  _ him. It was terrifying in its own way. The sense of violation, of wrongness, twisted the pleasure into a kind of taboo in Maul’s mind.  _ Submission. You are spread for him like a whore, showing your belly, taking him inside your body… _ it was an idea Maul didn’t know what to do with. It ran so contrary to his sense of himself that it was liberating. Liberating and terrifying. And it felt… he arched his back and bore down as Obi-Wan added a third finger. 

“So good,” he moaned. “Oh Force, so good.” 

“Slow down,” Obi-Wan said softly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“No, yes, harder,” Maul bit his lip. “More.” Shame coiled in his belly but it only fed the gleeful thrill. 

Obi-Wan’s hands were shaking and he thought if he so much as brushed his prick against the blankets he would come. The idea of Maul as inexperienced, as uncertain, tentative, nervous…  _ a virgin _ … made Obi-Wan twist with lust. Maul’s eyes were wide and shining and he had bitten his lip until it darkened. He was covered in sweat, wide chest heaving. And the  _ sounds _ he was making…

“Please, Kenobi, please!” He was begging. Obi-Wan’s stoic, competent, hard-eyed,  _ murderous _ friend was begging, thrashing under Obi-Wan’s hands. Obi-Wan had three fingers buried in the heat of Maul’s ass, his anus flexing and squeezing helplessly. With his other hand Obi-Wan was caressing Maul’s body, his heaving belly and deep chest. He stroked and squeezed Maul’s nipples which made him hiss and gasp. 

“Obi-Wan,” Maul breathed. “I’m so close… please!”

Maybe someday Obi-Wan would draw this out, would make Maul beg, make him be specific, make him ask… but not this time. Obi-Wan was too tied to his lover in the Force, too aware of how fragile Maul’s tolerance was. 

He withdrew his fingers,  _ like silk kriff so soft. _

Maul groaned in disappointment. 

“Kenobi…”

Obi-Wan curled himself over Maul’s body, slowly. He pushed Maul’s legs back, holding his gaze, and shuffled closer so that his thighs supported Maul’s hips. Maul made a low grunt when Obi Wan’s cock brushed his opening. 

_ Don’t come don’t come not yet hold yourself together! You have to make this good for him _

“Maul, is this position… alright?”

He leaned forward and kissed Maul’s open mouth. He understood intuitively how vulnerable of a position this was. And some deep part of him, faced with all that belly and thighs and throat- liked it very much. But he didn’t want Maul to suddenly decide it was too much and throw him across the room.

But Maul raised his arms above his head, caught in whatever place his mind had taken him. He nodded.

“Yes good - like this… do it…”

He was purring and his pupils were so wide the gold was almost gone, the corona of a star in eclipse. 

Obi-Wan took him at his word, guiding himself by the lust and excitement in the Force. 

Closing his fist around Maul’s cock he used it as a handle and levered Maul’s hips up higher, stroking with a loose grip. 

“Obi-Wan,” Maul snapped. “Fuck me before I throw you out the door!”

Obi-Wan arched a brow. 

“How uncivilized,” he muttered, trying not to laugh. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The look Maul gave him brought the laughter the rest of the way up. Desperate, anxious but still Maul, powerful enough to crush Obi-Wan and just capricious enough to do it. 

“Alright then,” Obi-Wan said, and pushed. 

-

 

Maul had never given much thought to male anatomy one way or another. He had looked, of course. Even Lord of the Sith and Son of Dathomir Darth Maul had been 13 once. His own first knot had terrified him, convinced he had broken something in his endless teenage masturbation. Thank goodness for the holonet. 

But now, now he was hyper-focused. Every centimeter of Obi-Wan’s cock was registering in his senses. Flushed pink, long and straight, with a pronounced head, it felt…  perfect. 

The oil reduced the friction but not the stretch. Maul bit back a curse as he was pierced and his rim forced to open. There was pain, which he expected. There was pleasure, which he had hoped for. It twisted his spine and tightened his lower belly.

But the vulnerability was almost too much. Spreading his legs and arching his back, pushing his belly and throat up towards Obi-Wan - it was adding a delicious underpinning of fear. 

His own cock was throbbing with his pulse, leaking so much the fluid was running down his belly and pooling in his navel, in the divot of his sternum. Obi-Wan leaned down and slurped at it, making Maul groan. It distracted him from Obi-wan’s slow slide into his body. 

Then it was done and the hard unyielding thing inside him stopped moving. Maul shuddered. He made a low sound of distress. 

“Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked. 

“Full,” Maul said. “I-I don’t know…” he was panting, his chest heaving. He couldn’t quite catch his breath or slow his hearts. No one… nothing had ever overwhelmed him like this.  _ He is inside me. It feels wrong. It feels so good. Full. I’m spread open. He’s Inside my body.  _  He felt panic stirring down in his gut. 

“Bite… bite me…” he gasped. Obi-Wan licked a wide stripe across Maul’s nipple and bit down. He withdrew a few inches and punched forward again. 

“Yes!” Maul gasped. Obi-Wan did it again, rolling his hips over and over so his cock slid in and out. The friction of it, Maul’s nerves firing- panic receded from the waves of pleasure. 

“Yes, harder,” he gasped. Obi-Wan shook his head. 

“No, don’t want to come too soon,” he gasped. He continued the steady roll of his hips. Sweat was making the sounds between them wet and obscene. Maul’s knot was already swollen. Obi-Wan was sure if he touched it, Maul would start coming. So he kept his grip loose on the shaft between the knot and Maul’s head. 

“Harder!” Maul snarled and grabbed Obi-Wan’s hips. He slammed his own hips up, snapping against Obi-Wan with a grunt. 

Obi-Wan knew what Maul meant. Had he not loved it when Cody pounded into him? He shoved Maul’s legs back, gripping the steel piston behind Maul’s knees. The Force surged between them and Obi-Wan began slapping his hips down, driving into Maul’s scalding opening.

_ Yes yes yes oh Force. _

“Oh Force,” Maul said, echoing Obi-Wan’s thoughts. Obi-Wan grabbed Maul’s knot and squeezed, twisting his wrist, bearing down hard. He wasn’t gentle. He didn’t hold back. 

Finally, finally, as his orgasm twisted up his spine, he was rewarded with seeing Maul fall apart. It was better than any of his fantasies. His friend, his lover, came with a silent shout, back arching and cords on his neck standing out. His head tipped back, his mouth falling open. Then his back curled and he snapped up. His eyes locked with Obi-Wan’s. He flinched with every spurt that painted his muscled chest. Every squeeze and flex of Maul’s abdomen made him clench around Obi-Wan who found himself coming harder and longer than he ever had. 

There were tears in the corners of Maul’s eyes. Obi-Wan could feel the intensity of his emotions. The Force between them was incandescent. It pulsed and flashed and surrounded them, penetrated their flesh and dissolved them. Maul was overwhelmed, his body torn loose from his usual reserve. 

They gasped each other’s names and kissed into each other’s mouths, slowly, slowly coming down. 

Obi-Wan slipped free and Maul winced. Suddenly, he pushed Obi-Wan off of him, nearly toppling him to the floor. 

“What- I- Maul!” Obi-Wan grabbed Maul’s arm to keep from falling. 

Without answering Maul pushed Obi-Wan sideways so his back was to Maul’s chest. 

_ Yes this way. Safe. _

When Obi-Wan tried to turn Maul bit him. 

“Ow! Maul?”

“Don’t- don’t move,” Maul said. “Don’t say anything. Just… just… don’t.”

Obi-Wan stilled,  but he was worried. As his own body settled, he became aware that Maul was trembling. 

He kept himself still, small in the Force and quiet. He felt Maul settling, calming whatever questions and fears were turning in his mind. Eventually, he drew in a deep breath and sighed. 

“I’m alright,” Maul said. “That was… more than I thought.”

He shifted, rubbing his forehorn slowly on the back of Obi-Wan’s head. 

“It was more than I thought,” he repeated. 

“Was it… good?” Obi-Wan asked. “Because we can do so many different things, other things. We can-“

“Hush, Kenobi,” Maul said. “It was good.” He sighed again. “So good…”

Obi-Wan sagged in relief.

“I want… more,” Maul said thoughtfully. “I want all of it.” Obi-Wan bit back the many, many, obvious jokes and forced himself to be still. 

“I do too,” he said, settling on the easiest answer. 

“Later,” Maul said. He added something else but it was lost as his body sagged and he slipped towards sleep. Content, Obi-Wan let himself do the same. 

  
  
\--  
  


Later turned out to be the next day as the two men slept almost the whole way around the clock. Maul woke with a start, his heart racing. For a moment he didn’t understand where he was or even  _ when _ he was. His body ached in every joint and his head felt stuffy and miserable. He rubbed his eyes and felt grit and mud in the corners.  _ The sand storm. I was holed up with Kenobi. I probably inhaled my own weight in dust and then… and then… _

It all came back and Maul shuddered.  _ Kenobi took… He was inside me. It hurt. How soon can we do it again I wonder? _

He looked down at the blankets and realized he could make out the shape of the former Jedi underneath. Pushing the pile of robes and bedding aside revealed Kenobi sprawled on his stomach, drooling onto the bed, his eyes crusted shut as Maul’s had been. It was not a pretty sight. 

Maul paused a moment, smiling. He leaned over and smelled the spot between Obi-Wan’s shoulderblades. He smelled like sweat and warm skin. He 

Following whatever thoughtless instinct drove him Maul breathed in higher up, by the Jedi’s neck. The skin there was dark brown, sand ground into the creases. There it was- the pale strip under Obi-Wan’s hairline that had obsessed Maul lately. He considered biting it. 

_ Don’t. Maybe that isn’t done. At least ask first.  _

Obi wan stirred, smacking his lips and pawing at his eyes. 

“Oh how awful,” he muttered. “I have sand in my, my…” he trailed off into a yawn and rolled sideways. 

“Good morning Maul,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“Good morning Jedi,” Maul said. He realized he was happy Obi-Wan was awake- happy to see him. 

“When can we have sex again?” Maul asked. Obi-Wan stilled, still in the process of rubbing his eyes. 

“What?”

“When can we have sex again?” Maul repeated, more loudly. Kenobi’s face lit up. 

“Now, if you like,” he said with a laugh. “Anytime we want to- anytime the mood takes us I suppose.”

“Really?”

Obi-Wan laughed, a delighted shout that made Maul blink in confusion. 

“Are you laughing at me?” He asked with a frown. “I do not see what is so funny.” Obi-Wan only laughed harder so Maul shrugged and bit him. 

There was a brief struggle which resulted in Maul on top, mouth closed gently over Obi-Wan’s throat. They were grinding their hips together and Maul used the Force to summon the oil to him. 

“Oh is it my turn now?” Obi-Wan said with a grin. Maul paused. He looked down at his cock. He wasn’t all the way hard yet but getting there. Obi-Wan was already fully erect, his cock flushed the same pink as his chest and cheeks. 

“I think I will be too big for you,” Maul said. Obi-Wan cocked one brow at him but didn’t disagree. 

“I want you,” he said. “I haven’t taken a knot since I was a padawan… so maybe- OH  _ FORCE!” _

He cut off as Maul slid an oil soaked finger inside him. His hands scrabbled for Maul’s head, catching his horns and pulling him down for a kiss. All coherent thought fled as Maul’s mouth roamed over him. 

“Is that? What are you doing? What- Oh.  _ Oh! _ ” Maul was doing… something… with the Force. Obi-Wan felt invisible  _ things  _ squeezing and stroking. His whole body was surrounded; it felt like Maul was holding every part of him. Maul’s fingers in his opening were sending burning shocks up his spine. He could barely lift his eyelids, his body slack and squirming. 

“I am getting you ready,” Maul said. He sounded far too smug but Obi-Wan couldn't do a thing about it. He could barely catch his breath. 

“Oh force- 

His wrists were dragged over his head and pinned to the bed. Maul’s fingers never stopped their exploration of Obi-Wan’s opening and his free hand ran over his chest, tugging Obi-Wan’s nipples. Obi-Wan felt something like hands gripping his ankles and pulling his legs wide, pushing them against his chest. Maul was nuzzling him under the chin, licking and biting every bit of skin he could reach. He was purring, a loud rhythmic vibration that Obi-Wan could feel all the way in the sockets of his hips. 

Obi-Wan panted as Maul mouthed a scalding path down his chest and across his navel. He seemed to have his own agenda, following whatever taste or texture pleased him. 

“Your skin is soft,” Maul said, leaving wet sucking bruises over Obi-Wan’s ribs. “Want to… bite you.”

“Do it,” Obi-Wan snapped. He rocked his hips against Maul’s fingers, squirming in want. Something… something bigger seemed to move into him, swelling  _ inside  _ him. Maul has four fingers in him now, the oil leaking everywhere. But he was doing  _ something  _ with the Force. He was getting Obi-Wan ready for his knot. Obi-Wan was a master Jedi, the strongest force user in a generation. He sat on the Jedi Council. He didn’t think he could exert even half the control Maul was using so easily. 

“Need…” Maul’s voice was slurring, his lip curled. In the Force he was a blinding strobe of lust and want. “Need…”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan gasped. “Oh yes. Do it. Do it.”

The invisible hands winked out and Maul was heaving Obi-Wan up, turning him over. Obi-Wan shifted to his hands and knees but Maul shoved Obi-Wan’s shoulders down. He flung himself over Obi-Wan’s back, arms wrapped tight around Obi-Wan’s hips. His own hips were already snapping forward. 

“Obi-wan,” he gasped. “Please. Please.”

They couldn’t line up, both jerking and squirming against each other. Maul bit Obi-Wan hard on the shoulder and he stilled, barely able to draw a breath before he felt the first nudge of Maul’s cock against his hole. 

It felt as big as a Frenik ball, round and soft.  It was leaking so much Obi-Wan could feel the slippery pre trailing down his balls. He drew in a deep breath and pushed backwards, bearing down, forcing his opening over Maul’s head. Maul whined and pushed forward at the same time, rocking his hips side to side to try and get in. 

Obi-Wan cried out. He couldn’t help it. No amount of preparation was enough for that thick shaft, wider than anything had a right to be. It hurt. It hurt so badly his cock went soft and Obi-Wan let out a garbled shout of pain. 

Maul stilled. The instincts and lust roaring through him told him to shove, to open the Jedi under him and breed him hard and fast until they tied together. But self-discipline was Maul’s entire ethos. So he stilled, and withdrew a little and lapped at Obi-Wan’s neck, purring helplessly until the Jedi began to rock backwards again. Each rock pushed Maul in a little deeper. The pleasure was so intense Maul swore he could feel his toes curl even though those phantom sensations had ceased a decade ago. 

Obi-Wan felt his body relax, adjusting to the stretch. The pain was receding as he got used to the size of Maul’s cock.  _ Full. So full. Oh Force- it’s good. It’s so good.  _

His own prick was hard again, now that arousal and the need to come was drowning out the pain. 

“Maul?” He said, his voice shaking. “Please, I’m ready. I need…”

“I have you,” Maul said. He pulled Obi-Wan so they were kneeling upright. His arms wrapped tight around Obi-Wan’s torso as he began to thrust, slowly at first. Obi-Wan reaches up and wrapped his own arms around the back of Maul’s head, turning his head so they could kiss. 

Maul’s strokes were long and slow. Obi-wan was slack in his arms, his body open. He was moaning and begging, words tumbling freely. 

“Need to… please,” Maul barely sounded like himself. He folded Obi-Wan forward and began to grind his hips in circles, shifting side to side as his knot swelled. 

He gripped Obi-Wan’s shoulders and hunched forward, desperate to get his knot in before it grew too big. Kenobi’s long, gutteral cry barely registered under the ecstasy of Maul’s knot being  _ swallowed _ into Obi-Wan’s body. 

There was no holding back, there was no hope of making it last. There was nothing to be done but hold on, arms wrapped tight around Kenobi’s waist. Maul hung over the drop of orgasm, barely able to breathe. 

“Maul, I’m, I’m, oh force!”

When Kenobi came his silky impossibly soft channel suddenly spasmed, squeezing Maul’s knot like a fist and finally oh force  _ finally  _ pushing Maul over. The world went white and the only thing tethering him in time and space was the man below him, under him, around him. Obi-wan twisted his head and they kissed, messy and desperate. It was like finding the Force. It was like coming home. 

 

Epilogue one:

It was Beru who noticed of course. Immediately. She took one look at their linked palms and all but ran across the courtyard to them. Her joy in the Force was clear and warm- a good thing since she threw herself at Maul first who had the sense not to strike her down. His astonished face as she squeezed him, and kissed him loudly on both cheeks, made Obi-Wan’s entire cycle. 

Owen was less impressed merely grunting  _ it’s about time _ before launching straight into his newest mechanical problem with Maul. 

They ate dinner, Luke asleep in Obi-Wan’s arms. Maul told a highly edited version of their sandstorm experience, thanking Owen again for the perfectly timed warning. 

“I seen that cave,” Owen said with a sly grin, “awfully small for two grown men ain’t it?”

Maul studied his plate carefully while Obi-Wan made sure that Luke’s blankets were perfectly adjusted. The silence dragged out another heartbeat before Owen and Beru both burst out laughing. After a moment Obi-Wan joined in, and Maul smiled, covering his eyes, taking Owen’s elbow to the ribs good naturedly.

“Families tease each other, Maul,” Beru said. 

Maul could only nod but in the Force he was so happy it took Obi-Wan’s breath. 

He had to drop his gaze but when he did, Luke’s blue eyes were staring right up at him. The baby  _ my nephew, my brother’s son  _ was laughing too, a star of perfect joy in the Force.

  
  
  
  



End file.
